Addictions
by LostDownTheRabbitHole
Summary: Separately, Edward and Bella's lives are at a crossroads, tortured by the decisions they've made in their past. When they are re-united after ten years, will they find comfort in the arms of an old friend or just trade one addiction for another? On Hiatus
1. Truth is all they're left with

Summary: Separately, Edward and Bella's lives are at a crossroads, tortured by the decisions they've made in their past. When they are re-united after ten years, will they find comfort in the arms of an old friend or just trade one addiction for another? Of course it's OCC, way more for Bella than Edward.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Edward, but alas it wasn't meant to be. All credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 1-Truth is all they're left with

"Em, come on. You know it's Thursday." Bella was grabbing various essentials and shoving them violently into her purse, almost dropping her cell phone completely.

"Can't you skip one. I haven't seen you in forever and I really don't want to take dad to this concert with me."

She felt horrible. Emmett was right. She had hardly seen him in the past month and would love nothing more than to go see Saliva in concert, but that night was too important.

"I'm sorry. I can't. Tonight's my five year. I can't just skip out. Plus, there is somebody I'm supposed to meet."

"Like a guy? I didn't think you were aloud to hook up at those kinda meetings."

"Em." She sighed at another one of her brother's attempts at getting her to settle down. "Not like that. I don't think I'd even know what to do with a guy anymore. I'm pretty out of practice. By the way, who are you to judge me? It's not like you've had a steady girlfriend since college."

"Where not talking about me. We're talking about you. Don't you think it's time to settle down with a nice guy and have a couple of kids?"

Bella sighed and shook her head as she slung her bag over her shoulder. "Let's not get into this again. If I meet a guys who will except me with all my baggage, I'll think about it. Now, Em, I've really got to go." She stepped out into her garage and got into her car.

"Okay, but you have to give me dinner Saturday night."

"Fine. I'll call you in the morning."

"Love you, Bells."

"You too, Em." She ended the call and tossed her phone in the passengers seat before pulling out of her drive and into the Seattle traffic.

Bella really did love her brother more than he would ever know. He was one of the main reasons she had come so far. Even with his constant nagging. He was there when she had no one, when she felt her life was worthless. She wondered then if she even deserved to go on living after what she'd done. Emmett reminded her of all the things to live for.

The memories of what happened that day five years ago had been flooding her mind for weeks. The shiver down her spine wasn't from the crisp Seattle weather. The thought of what lied in her past was slowly creeping into her present. She thought she was really getting past everything, but for some reason lately she'd felt herself starting to slip.

She pulled into the parking lot as the rain started to beat down even harder on her windshield. She knew she never wanted to be that Bella again. She needed to be strong and continue to help and be helped by the people that cared for her. The people that would help her celebrate how far she'd come the past five years.

**/&/**

"Al, I really don't need a babysitter." Edward nervously sat in the passengers seat of his sister's yellow Porsche.

She reached her hand over to pat his hand and stop his knee from bouncing. "You've only been home a few days. This is a really big step for you. Just let me be the one to take care of you for a change."

He sat quietly the rest of the drive dealing with the feelings of guilt and self-loathing filling his senses. He didn't feel worthy of Alice's generosity after everything he had put her through. He especially didn't feel like he deserved to take over her guest room and have her as his personal chauffeur.

He pulled down the visor to take a quick look at himself in the mirror. Not much left of the brilliant young musician he once was. The light purple rings beneath his eyes were proof of his endless sleepless nights. His disheveled bronze mess on top of his head was even more unmanageable. He thought his complexion was even paler than it usually was, if that was even possible.

"You'll be back to the old Edward in no time."

He flipped the visor back up and slumped back into the seat as they pulled into the parking lot. "I don't want to be the old Edward. I don't even want to be the recent Edward. I really have no idea who I am anymore."

Alice put the car in park. "When you decide, I'll be here."

"Thanks, Al." He rubbed his hands across the stubble on his cheeks attempting to gain the energy it would take to get out of the car.

"I'll meet you at the coffee shop around the corner when you're done."

"Yes, mom."

Alice gave him a stern glare as he leaned over and kissed her cheek. One long last breath out, then out into the pouring rain and in the front door.

**/&/**

Edward was greeted warmly by the one person he knew in the room.

"So glad you made it, Edward."

"Thanks, Rob."

Rob was not much different from Edward in many ways. A little older, late twenties, but the same build, same eye color. They even had the same right out of bed hair, though Rob's was more brown than bronze. Edward thought someone might even mistake them for brothers. Edward just thought of him as a friend, the only one he seemed to have those days.

Rob made a few introductions before letting Edward take his seat.

Edward sat back and observed as the meeting flowed. He listened to several stories that were much more horrendous than his own. He was beginning to feel a little arrogant, living his life the way he had. There was so much more in life that he could have been concentrating on.

"We are actually celebrating something pretty special here tonight." Rob moved a medallion back and forth through his fingers. "Our very own Bella is celebrating five years clean tonight." The crowd erupted in cheers as the beautiful brunette took her place next to Rob.

_It couldn't be_, he thought. The long waves of chestnut hair flowing past her shoulders. Those familiar chocolate brown eyes. It had to be her, but how could he know for sure. It had been almost ten years since he'd seen her.

"Thanks so much, Rob." Bella turned to the group and Edward knew at the sound of her voice it was most certainly her. "This Narcotics Anonymous group has been my salvation since the day I left rehab almost five years ago. For those regulars, I'm not going to go into the whole sob story again. For those of you that I'm just getting to know, you might not ever have guessed cocaine was my poison."

Edward sat stunned as she continued. Her voice, her pain, it flooded into his soul. He knew it was her with very part of him. Everything that had happened, every decision he had made, had led him there that night to find her again.

Edward was pulled out of his fog as Rob closed the meeting. He slipped his coat over his shoulders before he felt a tap at his shoulder.

"There's someone I'd like you to meet. I think she'd be a great sponsor for you."

Rob pulled Edward over to where Bella was chatting with a slender blond woman.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Edward."

Bella turned to meet Edward's gaze. Her heart sped up and almost burst at the sight of the man in front of her. Her breath betrayed her, becoming slightly labored. A wave of warmth gathered in her cheeks as she stood stunned in disbelief.

"Hello, Bella." His velvet voice was even sexier than she had remembered.

"E-E-Edward. I can't..."

Rob noticed the undeniable connection that had Edward and Bella locked together. He was then rethinking his decision.

"I was thinking you might be willing to be Edward's sponsor, but-"

She cut Rob off. "I'd love to."

Edward saw more than a flicker of recognition in her eyes. It looked more like a hint of lust than anything else. It was an expression he'd never seen in Bella's eyes before. One he'd always wanted to.

Rob's gaze was transfixed between Edward and Bella. He was now more than extremely skeptical. "Maybe, on second thought, I'm sure Jackson could do it. I know how busy you've been lately."

"Don't be silly, Rob." Bella grasped Rob's forearm, finally breaking her gaze from Edward. "You know I'm always willing to help."

"If you're sure."

"Positive." Bella turned her focus back to Edward as her hand left Rob's forearm. "I know this little coffee shop around the corner. We could go and talk for awhile."

"Yes, that would be wonderful."

Bella tried to contain her excitement as she led Edward out the front door.

As soon as they hit the sidewalk, Edward knew he couldn't hold back any longer. "You were the very last person I expected to see here tonight."

"Pretty funny, huh? No one every saw little Bella Swan as a coke fiend. I think that's how I kept it hidden for so long."

"I'm happy it's you. I've been worried about the whole sponsor thing since I left rehab. I'm really not that trusting anymore."

"A lot has changed, hasn't it?" She stopped in front of the door of the coffee shop, looking up into the emerald eyes she had only seen in her dreams the past ten years.

"A lot." He grabbed the door and held it open for her.

Before he could even remember why he needed to go to the coffee shop in the first place, Alice's tiny little body was wrapped around Bella.

"Bella. Oh my god. I can't believe it's you."

Bella pulled back to find the familiar blue eyes of the friend she once knew.

"Wow, Alice." Bella ran her fingers through the black spikes flowing from Alice's head. "It's short."

"Yep." Alice primped herself. "I love it. So does Jas. Oh my god, you don't know my Jasper. We just got married a few months ago." Alice thrust her left hand with the two carat square diamond ring at Bella.

"Congratulations."

Alice pulled Bella over to a comfy couch as she ordered two more lattes. Edward sat down in the armchair beside Bella.

"So, you have to tell me everything. It's been what... ten years?"

"I think so. You guys moved right after freshman year."

"Was it really that long ago? Has it been ten years since we lost mom?" Alice looked to Edward who's face had lost it's previous joy.

"It was ten years last April. You know that, Al."

"I guess, but sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday."

There was a calm silence as their lattes were delivered and they remembered the woman that had embodied motherhood.

"We've been pretty lucky though. Not long after we moved, dad met Esme, that's his wife now. She lost her husband to cancer a few years before that. She brought with her their twins. Rosalie who has been a godsend. Then Jasper. As you can tell by the ring, we never really saw each other as brother and sister." Alice giggled as a sweet blush rose to her cheeks. Then she noticed the looks Edward and Bella were exchanging. She suddenly became mortified.

"I'm sorry. You two ran into each other at the meeting. If you need to talk, I can leave." Alice tried to stand, but Bella pulled her back down.

"Sit your ass down. Edward and I have plenty of time to catch up." Bella sent a wink to Edward which in turn made his whole body blush.

"So, what are you up to these days besides accosting old friends of course."

"Well, as I said, the wedding, then the honeymoon. Now, taking care of Edward is my first priority. Rosalie and I run an on line fashion magazine. Our office is in my house, so I work from home."

"She has a lot of time on her hands. She even watches me when I brush my teeth."

At first, Bella thought Edward might be kidding. Then she noticed how his eyebrow was arched above his right eye as he fell back into his chair.

"You know, that's a little much, Ali. Maybe I can take some of the burden off of you."

"Bella is going to be my sponsor. That's if you still want to."

"I really shouldn't, but since we haven't seen each other in such a long time... I think it'll be alright." Bella licked her lips before sipping on her latte, watching that ominous smile that left her dazzled fall upon Edward's perfect lips. She never realized how much she really missed it.

"I really should let you two talk. You can just call me later and I'll come get you."

Edward rolled his eyes before dropping his head back.

"Alice, I can bring him home. It's not a big deal."

Edward's head popped back up at the notion.

"I suppose... if it's not too much trouble." Alice rose while slipping her designer handbag across her forearm. "Only if I can pay you back. Dinner at our place Saturday night?"

"I promised Emmett dinner. Can I bring him along?"

"Oh, hells ya. We'll make it a reunion. You can meet Jas and Rose. It'll be like old times."

"Not exactly, Al. We aren't teenagers anymore." Edward shook his head.

Alice leaned down and kissed Bella on the cheek. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too. We'll talk more on Saturday."

Alice practically skipped as she left the coffee shop.

"Are you sure she's not the one on drugs?"

"I've checked her medicine cabinet. I don't think she even has Tylenol in there anymore." Edward ran his fingers through his hair as he scooted up in his chair. "So, I'm not going to get you into trouble or anything? You being my sponsor and all."

"What Rob doesn't know won't hurt him. I don't think there's any rules about knowing your sponsor."

"Bella, we more than just know each other. We were-"

"I know." She cut him off. "You're kinda hard to forget."

"We should have kept in touch."

"Edward, it's fine. You moved across the country. It's just nice to see you back in Washington."

"We've actually been back for a few years, but that's not really that important right now. I want to know about you."

"Me and my poison?"

"I am curious." Edward took a hit off his latte.

"You're not gonna like it."

"Am I in a position to judge? Come on, Bells." She missed how he called her that. He was the only other man besides her father and Emmett that could call her that.

"It started with a guy, of course. I met James my freshman year in college. We were pretty much obsessed with each other. At first, I couldn't believe his mind. He'd traveled and experience so much more than I could have every dreamed. Then when the physical side of it started... it all became so much more." Edward gritted his teeth at the thought of another man taking Bella, claiming her as his own. "I told you that you wouldn't like it."

"Go on."

"I never gave it a second thought when the coke came into the relationship. I fell in love with it from the very first time. For me, everything was better. I felt so alive. It filled a hole that Emmett, my dad, and not even James could fill."

"I passed freshman year barely, then moved in with James. By June, I was doing lines most of the day. All that existed was James and the drugs. Then James made a decision, the drugs were more important than I was. When he ran out of money, he traded me for them. At first, I was so out of it, I didn't even know that it wasn't James inside of me." She swallowed hard as a tear threatened to fall. "I realized... what was going on after I was getting any of the drugs anymore. I tried to fight back, but..."

"You don't need to. I think I understand."

"Right. Let's just say if it wasn't for Emmett, I wouldn't be here today. I got into rehab and have been clean ever since."

Edward gripped at his latte. The thought of an unconscious Bella, her body being traded for cocaine, was sickening.

"Not what you would've expected, is it?" Bella sat back waiting for the usual disgust to follow. It didn't.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

She sniffled a little. "I've kept clean. I'm able to work at something I love. I've got my own house, a nice car."

"And?"

"And what?" Bella looked to him slightly confused.

"You have work and the meetings, then what?"

Bella searched herself for what she knew he meant. What life did **she** actually have. Almost every facet of her life was hidden from the real person that was inside of her.

"You're right. I keep to myself. I hang out with my dad and my older brother. The group at NA knows one of my biggest secrets, but they really don't know who I am, you know?"

"To be honest, that's one of my biggest fears. Staying clean, but not really doing anything with my life." Edward almost snorted. "Like I was doing much before."

"Alright, what weren't you up to before?"

Edward took a deep breath as the memory of how it all started crawled into the corners of his mind.

"It all started when I broke my hand. I walked in on my girlfriend of three years fucking some guy she worked with on our living room floor. Even though she was the one I was mad at, I took it out on him. His jaw ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Ouch." Bella winched.

Edward looked painfully down at his right hand as he messaged his palm with the thumb of his left hand. "Months of physical therapy and I still have no where near the dexterity I had before. Now, I compose advertising jingles on a computer. It's pathetic."

"It's not."

Edward huffed. "I used the pain meds to dull everything at first. When it wasn't enough, I went for the hard stuff. Cocaine mainly. I understand about it filling a hole. It filled me up until I felt nothing. Being numb was the most intoxicating feeling I'd ever experienced. Then, my guy got me hooked on some imported stuff. When I couldn't come up with enough cash to get a fix one night, I..." He shook his head with complete embarrassment. "I actually sold some of Alice and Jasper's wedding presents."

"Bet she was pissed."

"So pissed when she figured out she busted into my apartment. She found me doing a couple lines. I'll never forget the look on her face."

"Dragged you off to rehab?"

"She didn't want to kill me, so she called Jasper. He convinced me it was best for all of us."

"How long has it been."

"Sixty-three days. Detox was not my friend. It was horrible. That alone might keep me clean."

"You think you can do it then?"

Edward moved from his chair to beside Bella on the couch. "Honestly, I don't know. When I saw you tonight, it all kinda made sense. Why I was getting clean now. Why I met Rob. Everything. If you're willing to help me through this, I'm gonna try."

"That's all I ask." Bella took his right hand in hers, examining the faint scars still visible there.

Edward felt a surge flow through his entire being. All his senses became heightened. He let out a soft moan as her thumb circled his palm.

"You can feel that then?"

"Yes." Edward took a piece of her stray hair and tucked it behind her ear. "I never imagined that you could become any more beautiful than you were at fourteen."

"I did seem to fill out in all the right places." Bella smirked.

"I'd say so." Edward caressed the apple of her cheek with his thumb. "I've got an idea. Can you play hookie tomorrow?"

"I don't have any big plans." Nothing she wouldn't cancel in a second for Edward.

"I think the warden will let me out as long as I'm with you. Why don't we go and do something fun."

"What would you suggest?"

"For once, it's not supposed to rain. What about the park or the marina?"

"I'd say, what time do you want me to pick you up?"

**/&/**

"How long have they lived here?"

"About a year. Why?" Edward asked as Bella pulled into Alice and Jasper's driveway.

"I've lived about two miles away for almost two years. You think we would have run into each other by now."

"I don't care. We're here now. I'm really glad it's you."

"I'm glad it's me too."

The porch light flickered on and Bella got the hint. "You'd better get int there. You don't want to break curfew."

"Yeah, I don't want to get grounded."

"I'll talk to her, get her to lighten up. I promise. Tell her I'll call in the morning."

Edward laughed. "To set up our play date?"

"Something like that."

"Tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow."

Edward got out of the car and walked up to an awaiting Alice at the front door.

"Did you two catch up?" Alice closed the door behind him after waving to Bella.

"A little, but we need more time. We're getting together tomorrow. Only if that's okay with you, Al."

"Picking up where you left off?" Alice got an excited grin on her face.

"We're not kids anymore. It's not like I can ask her to prom or anything." Edward fell back into the couch a second before Alice did.

"You wanted to though."

"Alice, a lot has happened in ten years."

Alice patted Edward on the knee. "You look at her the same way you did back then. I know you loved her."

Edward put his hand on top of Alice's. "I think this is going to be a good start for Bella and I. Just don't go start planning our wedding just yet."

"Alright, you're gonna have to share. She was my best friend after all."

"I'll try not to stand in your way. I'm going to bed."

"To sleep?" Alice knew he hardly slept at all anymore.

"I'm actually exhausted. I think I might just be able to sleep tonight." Edward gave his sister a kiss on the forehead before heading off to bed.

Alice's excitement overtook her as she did her own little happy dance in her living room. Finally, she thought, Edward would get over what that bitch had done to him and move on with somebody she already approved of. She could almost visualize their china pattern already.

**/&/**

"Hey, sleepyhead." Alice greeted Edward as he made his way into the kitchen. She handed him a cup of coffee as he yawned.

"Has Bella called yet?"

"I'm already here. Love the shorts by the way." Bella came in behind him from the living room and patted him on the ass.

Edward's eyes widened as Bella walked passed him. Faded blue jeans that accentuated those new curves he was falling in lust with. A simple deep blue, v-neck, long sleeved t-shirt that gave her pale complexion a perfect glow. He felt a sigh rise from his chest but was able to pass it off as another yawn.

Bella took in all of Edward as Alice handed her a cup. He stood in a neon green pair of basketball shorts and nothing else. He was definitely more defined than he was at fifteen. She wondered what he looked like out of those shorts.

"Sorry, I slept so late. I haven't slept like that in forever." He relished the dreams he had of Bella all night long. He was hoping some day soon he could show her just what he was dreaming about doing to her.

"It's fine. Alice and I have just been catching up. I gave her the sob story."

Edward nodded remembering the story she had told him the night before. "I'll give you a little more time. I'm gonna shower and change."

"Don't be too long. Alice has already threatened to take me shopping. She might just kidnap me."

Alice shook her head at Bella because she was absolutely right.

"I'll be quick." Edward winked and headed off to the shower.

Bella sat at the kitchen table with a sigh. "He's just too gorgeous for words."

"Bella. That's my brother." Alice sat down next to her.

"Ali, I can't help it. You have no idea about the dreams I was having last night." Bella's eyes shut as she pulled in a deep breath.

"This would be the time to let me know what your intentions are towards my brother."

Bella looked to Alice to see she was completely serious. "I want to help him get through this."

"And?"

Bella shook her head as she thought of all the Cullen's and their ways of digging things out of her. "And I want to get to know the man he is now. We've both changed a lot. The thing is, since I've been clean I haven't been able to find anybody to accept me with all the baggage. I'm starting to think I'm going to end up alone with twenty cats." Bella sighed. "I don't even like cats."

"Sweetheart, I would love nothing more than for you and my brother to get together."

"But?" Bella knew there was always a but.

"We need him to stay clean. He needs to stay clean."

"Ali, I'll do everything I can to make sure that happens. I know how to deal with the highs and lows. From what he tells me, his detox was a lot more intensive than mine was. I think that he knows he never wants to go through that again."

Alice put her hand over Bella's. "I know you'll do your best."

"You girls done catching up?"

Edward entered. Even though he had more clothes on than before, Bella couldn't take her eyes off of him. His dark blue jeans that hung low on his waist with a gray t-shirt that showed that new definition made Bella lick her lips.

"Not even close, but I'm sure we'll have time." Alice winked at Bella.

"Ready to go then?" Bella asked as she stood up.

"Yep. Have you decided what you want to do?" Edward grabbed his jacket off a nearby chair.

"You said the marina. They're having one of those street fairs down there. I thought it could be fun."

"Sounds perfect. Maybe we can swing by and see dad's boat."

"No sailing today." Alice gave the famous stern look.

"Okay, Al. Don't have a stroke." Edward reached to take Bella's hand.

After slipping her jacket over her shoulders, Bella took his hand. "Don't wait up." Edward and Bella practically ran for the door.

**/&/**

They made it to the marina quickly. They walked lazily through the street fair, talking more than really paying attention to anything. Then Edward brought up a subject Bella wasn't exactly sure how to deal with.

"Do I get to know what this mysterious job of yours is? I'm not going to get beat down by a crazy boss for stealing you away today?"

"No," Bella laughed. "No angry boss. I'm..." Bella was nervous about letting someone else in on her mysterious career. Only four people knew what she really did. She decided to make Edward the fifth.

"You're not some kind of super spy or something?"

"No, not quite. I'm actually a writer."

"I can see that. Anything I might of read?"

"I don't know." She took a deep breath as they sat down on a wooden bench. "Have you ever heard of Victoria Lane?"

"Victoria Lane?" Edward searched his head for where he had heard the name before. "Yeah," he nodded. "Those are the books Alice is obsessed with."

"Guess she didn't look at the picture too closely."

"That's you?"

"Yep, strawberry blond wing and all."

"Wow. Why all the secrecy?"

"I wrote the first book shortly after I got out of rehab. It was kind of something to keep myself busy. If I wasn't in class or sleeping, I was writing. Emmett read it first. One of his friends knew a guy, who knew a guy, whose sister was a literary agent. After about a month of edits, it was published. I really wanted to keep my sordid past out of the spot light. Plus the fact that I was only twenty and writing about something so in depth, we decided Victoria was the best way to go."

"You do signings and appearances dressed up like her?"

"Yep, don't forget the contacts. Victoria has blue eyes."

"Let me get this straight. To keep yourself clean and sober, you've split yourself into three different people?"

Bella realized she hadn't really thought about it that way before.

"There's Victoria, then there is NA Bella, then the real Bella."

"Guess you're right."

Edward brushed his thumb across her cheek as their eyes met. "I look forward to getting to know all three of you."

Bella felt the warmth of his hand transferring to her cheek, then her stomach rumbled. "Guess I haven't eaten in awhile."

"What do you feel like?"

"One of those huge corn dogs. I think I could eat three of them."

Edward chuckled softly. "Let's not deny that rumbling beast."

Edward held her hand as they went off to find their corn dogs.

They ate and joked and found out so much more about each other. Both of them were feeling more than lust. They were feeling what they had started ten years earlier.

Bella loved the fact that Edward had such a diverse love of music. Edward loved to hear about all the places Bella had been able to travel while promoting her books. Bella got caught up on Edward's new family. She was excited to meet Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper. Edward loved the way Bella described how much closer she and Emmett had gotten over the years. He was looking forward to seeing his old best friend again.

"Shit! I forgot to call Emmett." Bella pulled out her phone and dialed.

He picked up after only the first bar of his ringback tone, "Five O'clock Somewhere". "Yes, sister dear."

"Hey, I got a surprise for you." She grinned at Edward.

"Bells, no surprises please."

"This is a good one. We're not exactly having dinner alone tomorrow night."

"Thank the lord. You met a guy didn't you. Finally." Emmett let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Not so much as met someone, but found someone again." Edward smiled and took her hand in his.

"Do I even want to know?"

"It's Edward Cullen."

"Eddie? What the hell? I thought they were in Maine or some little state like that up north."

"It was Rhode Island and they've been back in Seattle for a couple years."

"They?"

"Yep. I guess Carlisle is some big shot at the hospital here. When he got the offer, Alice and Edward followed. He's remarried a woman named Esme Hale and her two kids came with them too. Alice and Esme's son, Jasper, just got married. They've invited us to their place for dinner tomorrow."

"My god. I haven't thought about the Cullen's in years. How is Edward anyway?"

"You wanna ask him yourself? He's right here." Bella handed the phone over to Edward.

"Hey, Em." Edward shifted in his spot nervously.

"Hey, shithead. How the hell are you?"

"I see you've matured a lot."

"I haven't had anyone but Bells to torture over the past ten years. Give me a break. So, seriously man, how are you?"

"Much better since I bumped into your sister last night."

"Oh, that's..." The other end of the line was silent for a second. "She was at NA last night."

"Yep. Bella is going to be my sponsor. I hope you don't have a problem with that."

Emmett stayed silent deep in thought for a moment. "I know how Bella loves to help people. Her own sobriety has never really been in question. I'm telling you this now, if you slip and take my sister with you, I'll make sure and hide your body where no one can find it. Get me?"

"Loud and clear. I have no intention of turning back."

"Good. Now that we've got that out of the way, I guess we're coming over to Alice's for dinner tomorrow."

"Yep. I'm actually living with Alice and Jasper for awhile. Alice has kinda been my warden."

"I can see her doing that. Should I bring anything? Bottle of wine is out."

"Nope, just you and Bella."

"Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Look forward to it. Here's Bella." Edward wiped the sweat that had collected on his brow as he handed the phone back to Bella.

"No more threats, okay? You don't want me to tell your boss you're thinking of killing someone." Bella's voice was strong and stern.

"I wasn't kidding, Bells. I don't know what I would do if you slipped. We almost lost you the last time."

Bella looked down into her hands as the memory slipped back into her mind. "I know. Don't worry. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Right. Love ya."

"Love ya back." Bella ended the call and looked to Edward slightly embarrassed. "Sorry about that. It's the whole Swan cop thing he's got going."

"Emmett's a cop, too?"

"Yeah. He's SPD right now, but I think eventually he wants to go back to Forks and work with dad. He just needs to get a little bit of real police work out of his system. Plus he wants to stay close to me. Seattle is really easy for me to travel from, so it's a good base for me."

"You planning on traveling anytime soon?" Edward started to wonder how much time he would actually have with her.

"My newest book is still in the editing stage right now. I think their planning on publishing before Christmas."

"Bella, it's the beginning of October."

"I know. I'll do some stuff the beginning of December, but won't do a book tour until January."

"So, I've got you home for at least two months?"

"I hope so."

Something caught Edward's eye and the wheels of his mind started turning. "Then we're gonna have to start making some new memories now. Come on." Edward grabbed her hand and started pulling her with him.

They stopped just a few feet in front of a photo booth.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. Come on it'll be fun. Crazy faces and all. I still have the ones we did that summer. They can be just for comparison, see how much we've changed."

Bella eyed him. She could tell he was up to something, but she was excited to know what. "Alright, for comparison."

Edward pulled her in and sat her on his lap. He shoved a few quarters in before they started posing. First, both of them did crazy faces. Then before the second flash, Bella wrapped her hands around Edward's neck and pretended to choke him. Then Edward brought her in to lay his forehead against hers. Their eyes were both closed as it flashed for the third time. Edward couldn't hold himself back any longer. He brought his lips to hers. She instinctively grasped the back of his head. She tugged at the hair on the back of his neck causing his mouth to open slightly. Her tongue slid in, caressing his. The fourth and final flash came.

Edward reached into his pocket and grabbed a few more quarters. He broke there kiss to slid them in the slot. "I think this is a memory I never want to forget."

Bella pulled him back to her before the booth flashed again. Her hands trembled on his cheeks as she felt his hand slide underneath her t-shirt and dance across her rib cage. He sucked lightly on her swollen bottom lip. She let out a soft moan at the action. She moved her hand down to rest on his chest and noticed his hardened nipples beneath his t-shirt. He squeezed her side and thrust his tongue in her mouth further when she started rubbing his nipple. They felt the last flash fall upon their faces and Bella pulled herself back.

"We better get those before some little old lady comes up and has a heart attack." Bella pulled herself off a stunned Edward's lap and went out to grab the two sets of photos. Edward stood and adjusted himself, zipping up his jacket to cover his now raging erection.

Edward walked out of the booth to see Bella mesmerized by the pictures. "I think this one is my favorite." Edward's tongue was slightly visible sliding into Bella's mouth.

"You know, there are many other things I can do with my tongue." Eward raised his eyebrows as he took her hand in his.

"I remember." She squeezed his hand as she tucked the photos in her jacket pocket. "Now, what is this boat you keep talking about?"

"Yes, it's not far if you don't mind a walk."

"I'm not complaining."

Edward and Bella walked like the two horny teenagers they felt they were again. They came to the dock and Edward pointed out his father's sailboat. As they got closer, they noticed someone on deck.

"Dad?" Edward said as he walked up to the boat with Bella pressed to his side.

"Edward, son. Alice let you off her leash for the day?" Carlisle looked up from the mast he seemed to be repairing.

"She just handed it over to someone else. You remember Bella Swan?"

Carlisle looked down and saw the chestnut beauty that clung to his son's arm. "As I live and breath. This can't be little Bella."

"It's me. So nice to see you again Dr. Cullen. You have a beautiful boat."

"You're not a little girl anymore, then you can call me Carlisle. Why don't you two come aboard."

Carlisle offered Bella his hand and helped her on board. Edward followed and instantly wrapped his arms around Bella's waist.

"I see you two didn't waist anytime getting reacquainted." Carlisle gestured for the two of them to sit with him.

"She's pretty irresistible." Edward smiled as Bella cuddle next to him.

"I only wish I would have bumped into him sooner, maybe..."

"Don't. I would have never wanted you to see me that way." Edward pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed it. He knew she would do anything to help him through everything. It just made him want her all that much more.

"I take it Bella knows all about your stint in rehab."

Edward nodded as he looked to Bella. She knew her story would have to come out eventually, so she went ahead. "Edward and I bumped into each other at NA last night."

"Bella's going to be my sponsor."

Carlisle's brow furrowed together. "Do you think that's a very good idea?"

Edward looked to his father confused. "I think if anyone can get me through this, she can."

"You know you are not supposed to start a relationship right now. Especially not with someone else who is in recovery themselves."

Edward felt a pain in his chest at the thought of being separated from Bella. He would have thought his father would be happy that he had found another reason to stay away from the drugs. He was reassured when Bella's hand tightened around his.

"Dad. Bella has been clean for five years. She wouldn't have done it if she didn't think she could help. And we're not starting a new relationship. Ours was just on hold for awhile. It's not like we're running off to Vegas or anything."

"We're just happy to spend time with each other. It's been really hard to find someone that actually understands what I've gone through. It's just nice to be able to talk to someone I trust about these kind of things." At her words, Edward leaned over and kissed Bella on the temple.

Carlisle nodded as he saw their obvious devotion to each other. "I can't stop this can I?"

Edward looked his father straight in the eye. "No, you can't."

"Alright then. Welcome back to the family, Bella." Carlisle stood up and brought Bella up into a soft hug.

Bella stepped back when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. "Sorry." She pulled it out and answered. "Yes, Alice." She walked over to the side of the boat to talk with Alice.

Carlisle sat down next to his son. "She gets you, doesn't she?"

"She understands what it's like. The highs and lows. She wants to help. I can't help it that she happens to be the first girl I ever kissed. We still have a connection."

Carlisle patted his son on the back as his gaze wandered over to Bella. "I can't really blame you. Bella has become one beautiful woman."

"Dad!" Edward's mouth curled up on the side at the fact that his dad was checking out Bella's curves.

"What? She is." Carlisle squeezed Edward's shoulder. "If you think you can handle your sobriety and a relationship at the same time, I'll do what I can to help."

"Thanks, dad."

Bella ended her call with Alice as she rolled her eyes. "Alice insists that I bring you home. She says eight hours is long enough."

"I don't want to get grounded, so we better go." Edward stood up and hugged his father before returning to Bella's side.

"Emmett and I are coming over to Alice's tomorrow night for dinner. It would be nice if you and your wife could come. I'd love to meet her."

"I wouldn't miss it. We'll be there."

Edward helped Bella off the boat and they made their way to the car.

**/&/**

When they pulled into Alice's driveway, neither one of them wanted their day to end.

"You could come in?" Edward knew she wouldn't but he wanted to ask anyway.

"I really should do a couple things before I go to bed. If I went in there with you, I'm sure Alice will have me talking the rest of the night."

They both sighed before Bella reached into her pocket for their pictures. "Which one's do you want?"

She handed over the pictures of their little make out session. Edward tore the top two from each strip and handed the others back to her. "I'll let you keep your favorite."

Bella took in a deep breath as she looked down at the pictures.

"I had a really good time today. We should make it a regular thing." Edward took Bella's hand from the steering wheel.

She turned and looked into his earnest eyes. "I was just thinking the same thing."

Edward leaned in and brought his lips to hers. Before it could get too heated, Bella pulled back.

"If you keep kissing me like that, I'm never gonna make it home."

Edward kissed her forehead before sitting back in his seat. "Alright. I guess I'll just have to wait until tomorrow then. You'll be here at six?"

"If I can wait that long." She laughed at the thought of having to wait almost a whole day to see him again.

"I'll call you in the morning."

"Okay." She leaned over and gave him a light peck before he grabbed the door handle. He rushed up to the house as Bella pulled out of the drive.

"I'm home." Edward called before walking into the kitchen.

"Just in time. We just ordered Chinese." Jasper called over from his spot next to Alice at the kitchen table.

"Great. I'm starved."

"And I told Bella to make sure and feed you." Alice looked up from her laptop.

"She did. We just did a lot of walking. Burned a lot of calories." Edward rubbed his perfectly toned abs before slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair.

"You had fun then?" Alice brought her screen down to get a better look at Edward.

A huge grin spread across his face at the thought of his tongue slipping past Bella's lips. He felt a little dizzy as he remembered how the skin on Bella's torso felt under his fingertips.

"Yes, we did. I even had a chance to talk to Emmett, then we went to see the boat. Dad was there, so we talked with him a bit."

"Dare I say, bro, you look happy?" Jasper's words were hopeful.

"I think so. It feels pretty good." Edward then remembered what he wanted to spend his night without Bella doing. "Bella mentioned she liked this series of books. I think their by Victoria Lane. Don't you have some of them, Al?"

"Some of them? I have all five. I hear there is a sixth one coming out before Christmas. It's on my list."

Jasper got the mental note and tapped at his temple.

"Bella seemed to like them a lot. You think maybe you'd let me borrow them?"

"Sure. They're in the living room on the book case."

"Thanks."

Edward wandered into the living room and pulled the first book called "Cradle Lost". All the books Alice had were first editions. Bella had told him her first book was in it's fifth printing. He turned to the back of the book to see the photo of Bella's alter ego. Besides the hair and the eye color, she was all Bella. He was so surprised Alice never recognized her.

After he downed a pint of sweet and sour chicken, he let the newlyweds know he was turning in. He immersed himself in Bella's novel as soon as he read the first page.

_My grandfather was a cop. My father is a cop. My brother is a cop. No one would of thought a drug addict would come from such a family, but I did. My name is Sarah Scott, former drug addict and struggling homicide detective. This is just one of my stories._


	2. Just the Four of Us

Chapter 2 Just the Four of Us

While Edward spent most of his waking hours on Saturday pouring over the life of Sarah Scott, Bella was fighting with her editor over the phone.

"You can't cut that whole paragraph in chapter twenty-six. It disrupts the whole story arch."

"I'm sorry, Bella. This is coming directly from Garrett."

Bella moaned in frustration. If Garrett hadn't been such a nice guy when she signed on with him, he wouldn't of been such a pain in the ass at that time.

"Jessica, if they want this book out on time, they need to stop messing with the story. It's an important paragraph. Sarah had just found out about her brother. It's part of her reaction, you can not cut it!"

"Fine. I'll go to bat for you. You're really not going to budge on this are you?"

"No, unlike some authors, I fight to give my readers the compelling story I originally intend to tell. Garrett of all people should know that by now. Tell him to just look in his bank account."

"Whoa, Bella. What's gotten into you?"

Bella sat and thought about what had brought about her new feistiness. "I just decided I need to fight for my story to be told the way I write it. Is that so wrong?"

"No. I'm actually really proud of you. Sarah must be rubbing off on you."

Jessica's words resonated throughout Bella's mind the rest of the afternoon. In a way, Bella knew how she and Sarah were so much alike. Sarah was a part of Bella, another persona to add to the ever lengthening list.

In other ways, Sarah was her best friend. The only thing she could count on to be there one hundred percent of the time. Too bad she was mostly a fictional character.

Bella often had to make calls as Victoria which was now even more disturbing since the revelation Edward had caused her to have. She setup a photo shoot and an interview with Entertainment Weekly for the end of November. They were devoting four pages to her series for their issue that was to come out a week before her newest novel was to be released. She was nervous and insisted on having her own makeup and hair person. It was always a little difficult acting like she was normally the strawberry blond bombshell she pretended to be. She felt the attention for her upcoming book was going to be more than she had ever imagined.

Bella then started to think about what she might do to wrap up the series. She had always planned on writing eight books for the series. With the next one, which was still in the very early stages of planning, as number seven, she needed to find out how to let Sarah go.

_She could fall in love._ The little voice in the back of her mind beckoned to her.

For six novels, Sarah had been a tough as nails homicide detective who only let out her feminine side to her brother and her dog, Barkley. Even though Bella had introduced several possibilities for romance, Sarah never seemed to take a shine to any of them.

The thought of a bronze haired lover came to mind. She wondered if Edward would mind her modeling Sarah's soul mate after him.

She shook her head at the thought. She knew it was too soon to be thinking about Edward that way again. She couldn't go there... yet.

As she took her little black dress from her closet and held it up in front of her, she realized it was already too late. Her mind was consumed with thoughts of him. Thoughts of hands, lips, tongues, and souls coming together.

She slipped on her dress, knowing that she was falling hard for Edward again. She knew his recovery needed to be at the forefront of her mind. She had to do what was best for him, even if it was not what was best for her.

She arrived at Alice's at five forty-five. She didn't even get a chance to ring the bell before Edward had opened the door and pulled her in.

"Edward, what are you doing?"

"Shh." He put his finger to his lips as he lead Bella down the hallway. "I don't want Alice to know you're here yet."

Edward pulled her into his room and helped her off with her coat. She sat down on his bed as he took a book and held it out to her.

She treaded her fingers across the cover of the first book she had written.

"I just finished it about an hour ago. You truly have a gift. I should have known how successful you would be."

"You liked it then?" She was nervous about his reaction due to the fact that she could already see Sarah and her bronze haired stranger having hot, steamy sex.

He leaned back to sit on the edge of his desk, deep in thought, trying to find an answer. "She's brilliant and sexy, but she's flawed. It makes her that much more real."

"I think you know how alike Sarah and I are." Except for the gun and black belt, Bella knew they were practically mirror images.

"I had a feeling." He smiled a little crooked grin as he ran his fingers through his hair. A nervous habit Bella was beginning to love.

"Now you have another piece of my soul. You know only four other people know that Victoria and I are one in the same. Now, you're the only one I have admitted about Sarah. I know Emmett has his suspicions."

Edward laughed and shook his head at his thoughts of Emmett. Emmett always was the big protector and Edward knew as a cop, he would be even more so.

"You must seriously think I'm crazy." Bella shook her head before looking up to Edward. "Since you've made me think about it, I feel like I have four different personalities." Bella laid her book down on the bed beside her as Edward knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"They are just all sides to the one person you are. I know there is only one you. I'm so impressed at the lengths you have gone to heal. You really make me believe I can do this. You make me want to be a better man."

Bella took one hand from his to rub her thumb along the line of stubble resting at his jaw.

"I don't think I've told you how stunning you are tonight."

Her hand dropped with her head. "It's just this little black dress." She brought her eyes up to meet his. "It's a sad comparison next to you."

Edward smiled as he stood. His dark blue jeans with his white t-shirt and black casual suit jacket made him better suited for the runway rather than a family dinner party.

"Yeah, it's the new just out of rehab look. I'm thinking of calling up Tim Gunn and letting him in on the ground floor."

She laughed at the knowledge that Edward even knew who Tim Gunn was. For some reason, she didn't see Edward as the type of guy to watch "Project Runaway" marathons. Alice's influence she was sure.

Bella stood up and brushed down both of his lapels. He pulled her in and rested his forehead against hers as his hands wrapped around her waist.

"I have been waiting all day to be this close to you."

"Edward?" She knew she had to go into the subject before anything went any further. "I need you to know," she whispered. "everything we did, everything we felt yesterday was amazing."

"Yes, it was," he confirmed with a smile.

"I just don't want anything that might happen between us disrupt your recovery. I thought maybe I could stop, but I can't imagine not having you in my life anymore. That is why I think it's best that you meet Jackson. I'm sure he'd be glad to be your sponsor."

"What?" Edward pulled back and looked into her pained eyes. He could see what she was saying took a lot of thought and had been a hard decision to make.

"Not that I won't be here to help you, because I will. I just think if we are going to be together again it would be best for you to have a different sponsor. Jackson is a great guy and had been sober a lot longer than I have."

"If that's what you want. I'll call Rob and ask if he can talk to Jackson."

"Good," she sighed. "I'm sure Alice has seen my car by now. She's probably wondering what we're doing in here."

"Just one more thing." Edward brought both of his hands up to Bella's jaw, bringing her lips to his. They met in an even more passionate display than in the photo booth. They both wanted to forget the rest of the world in that moment, crawl into his bed and never come out. Alas, they had to breath and parted.

"That was worth the wait." Edward laced his finger's through Bella's. They both drew in a deep breath before venturing out to meet Alice's wrath.

"You two have been in there forever. Glad you decided to join the party." Alice chastised the both of them as she caught them coming out of Edward's bedroom. She pushed them into the kitchen to find Emmett devouring the appetizers.

"See you didn't waste anytime making yourself at home." Bella smiled as her brother popped another mushroom cap in his mouth.

"Alice told me to," he shrugged as he caught the sight of Edward. "Eddie!"

To say Edward was shocked by Emmett's appearance would be a gross understatement. Edward had always considered himself tall, but next to him Emmett was a giant. He towered over Edward by at least five inches. His barreled chest matched his booming voice. He still had the short brown curls and deep chocolate brown eyes that matched his baby sister's.

"Wow, Em. You grew... a lot."

Emmett took Edward's out stretched hand and pulled him into a bear hug. "You're not the scrawny little kid I remember either. How have you been?" Emmett pulled back then shook his head at his own question. "Well, that was a stupid question, but I hope better now that you've got this one back in your life."

Emmett scooped Bella up in his arms. "It's only been two weeks, Em."

"I know, I know." He put her down and laid a kiss on her forehead. "You know how I need my Bella fix though."

Just then Jasper walked into the kitchen with a stunning blond at his side. She had perfectly wavy hair with full red lips and matching nails. Her eyes sparkled blue just like Jasper's. Bella knew in an instant she must be Rosalie.

"Emmett, Bella, this is my sister, Rosalie."

Bella held out her hand and shook Rosalie's. "It's so nice to meet you."

"You too. Alice has told us so much about the Swan's over the years. It's nice to finally be able to meet you in person."

"Al, I hope you haven't been spreading lies." Emmett said with a furrowed brow as he made his way over to Rosalie. "I'm Emmett. It's a pleasure." Emmett took Rosalie's hand and gave it a soft kiss before releasing her.

The chemistry was instantaneous. Rosalie's cheeks flushed pink at the contact of Emmett's lips.

The evening continued to flow as Carlisle and Esme arrived and they all started dinner. Esme recounted the first time she met Carlisle at a National Cancer Society fund raiser. The gleam in both of their eyes was nothing but pure love. They had found something they had both thought was lost to them forever and bringing their families together was the most natural thing in the world. Edward had taken to teasing Rose, just like he did Alice. Jasper was grateful to have two more men in the house and they instantly took to the weekly male bonding rituals.

Then the subject of how Alice and Jasper got together came up.

"We never had the kind of relationship I had with Edward. I had always found him way too attractive to think of him as a brother, but never imagined he felt the same way."

"So after dancing around each other for what seemed like forever, I finally went to Carlisle and asked him what I should do. I knew I had these feeling for her," Jasper took Alice's hand. "but I didn't want to cause any problems in our family. He told me to talk to Alice and see how she was feeling. I did to happily find out she felt the same. We've been together ever since." He kissed her hand as she patted with her other one on his cheek.

"It got a little weird for me once Edward went off to college. I was the third wheel and could never really find a good steady boyfriend to save my life." Rosalie blushed at her confession, which made Emmett thankful that she hadn't had a serious relationship. He was planning on making himself her first.

They finished dinner, but before they all went to the living room for dessert Bella pulled Emmett into the kitchen for a private conversation.

"I need to tell them about Victoria."

"Now? What the hell, Bells? They already know about the drugs and James, you want to dump your alter ego on them too?" Emmett was worried she was giving everything up way too fast. He somehow could understand though. He was feeling things for Rosalie in the first five minutes of knowing her more than he ever had with any woman before.

"Edward already knows about Victoria." Emmett shook his head as it dropped. Bella gathered his hands in hers. "I have to do this. Plus I really think I'm gonna need Alice and Rosalie's help before the next book comes out."

"Why? What can they help you with that Jessica or I can't?" He lifted his head to meet her big doe eyes.

"I set up an interview with Entertainment Weekly today. They're doing a four page spread for the beginning of December."

Emmett picked her up and twirled her around, causing joyful squeaking noises to come out of her.

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Em, put me down," Bella demanded as Edward walked into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Edward half laughed.

Emmett set Bella down before she smacked him on the chest. "Yes. I just told Emmett some good news. I kind of wanted to share it with the rest of you to."

"I'm all ears."

"First, can you go get Alice's copy of 'Cradle Lost'. It will help explain things."

"Victoria is part of your good news?"

"Yep."

"Then I'll grab it and meet you in there."

Edward ran to his room to retrieve the book while Emmett and Bella settled in with their dessert in the living room.

"Here you go." Edward handed Bella the book as he sat down beside her on the couch.

Alice noticed the book resting in Bella's hands. "Edward told me you had suggested those books to him. I can't get him to read anything. You must be a good influence on him."

"I take it you like the books." Bella hated herself, but she was actually fishing for some complements.

"I love them. We've all read them, except Edward. I guess now he's getting hooked too." Alice smiled as she unknowingly complemented Bella.

"I'm glad you all know them, cause it will make this a lot easier." Bella opened the book to her alter ego's photo. She held it up to them. "This... is me."

"No way!" Alice stood and snatched the book as the others sat in shock. Alice went back and forth between the picture and Bella's face. "Oh my God."

"It's her. I swear. The wig and everything. I tried to convince her to go all the way blond, but she wouldn't have it."

Bella smacked Emmett's arm as he was sitting on the other side of her.

"I knew this Victoria was kind of reclusive, but I had no idea." Rosalie shook her head as she smiled.

"I'm kind of telling you all this for two reasons. I already told Edward yesterday and I knew he would have a hard time keeping it from Alice especially. Also, I need your help."

"What do you need, sweetie? Anything, you just name it." Alice was eagerly nodding like a bobble head doll.

"I found out today that the series is going to have a four page spread in Entertainment Weekly in December and they want to do a photo shoot also."

Alice and Rosalie looked at each other and nodded.

"For events and things, I always have my editor, Jessica. To keep this still a secret though, I think I'll need more help."

"First of all, that wig has got to go. I know this guy, we can get you something fabulous." Alice was so excited she was wriggling in her seat.

"Thanks, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." Bella sighed as she melted into Edward's arms.

He pulled her chin up to meet his eyes. "I'm so proud of you."

She shifted up and brought her lips to his. Edward softly nipped at her bottom lip before he heard Emmett clear his throat.

"You two are so cute. It's like high school all over again." Alice was getting into uncharted territory. Bella and Edward hadn't really discussed much about their past since so much was consuming their present.

"Al, please. Don't go there," Edward pleaded.

"What? You two were like the perfect couple." Alice looked at the two of them in complete awe. She knew if they ever found each other again they should pick up where we left off.

"Yes, then we moved." Edward unconsciously looked towards his father.

"You know how sorry I am about that." Carlisle's chin met his chest as Esme rubbed his back.

"No, dad. I understand it all now, but it was different for me back then."

"It all happened for a reason. We're here now when I think we need each other the most." Bella squeezed Edward's hand as smiled into his eyes.

"That's enough about the past. Let's have a toast." Jasper held up his coffee cup. The rest of them raised their cups. "To Bella. To her courage and her strength bringing her to this amazing success. And now that she's let us all in on the secret, she'll need all of that strength to keep my Alice from driving her insane."

Alice hit Jasper on the arm as the rest of them uttered, "To Bella."


	3. Past Meets Present

Chapter 3 Past Meets Present

"_Alice. Can you give us a few minutes?" Bella asked as she sat next to Edward on his bed._

"_Sure."_

_Bella took Alice's hand and lead her to the bedroom door. They hugged before Bella shut and locked the door then turned out the lights._

"_Bella?" Edward said in his most sing-song voice. "What are you doing?"_

_A fourteen year old Bella did the most seductive walk she could without falling flat on her face. She reached Edward and stood between his legs as he rested his hands on her hips. She nervously stroked her fingers through the bronze mane she was bound to miss. She pulled his chin up so his emerald eyes met hers. She searched for an answer to their dilemma, but sadly, she knew there wasn't one._

"_What time are you leaving for the airport?" Her voice was trembling as the words came out as barely a whisper._

"_Dad wants to leave by seven. Our plane leaves at two, so it should give us plenty of time." He pulled her hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss in her palm._

"_This is our last night, you know?"_

"_Bella, please don't remind me. I know we said it would be better for both of us to make a clean break, but I don't want to think about my life without you. Can't we just have now?"_

_She cupped his cheek. "Then let me give you one last gift." She moved forward to let her lips meet his like they had everyday over the year they'd been dating. There was something more though, a desire they'd never felt before. It scared both of them, but it excited them at the same time. Bella put in every ounce of passion she could conjure in the rhythmic movements of her lips and fingers._

_She reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped Edward's jeans as his hand made it's way to the back of her head deepening their kiss. She felt him hard in her hand as she began stroking. He moaned deep into her mouth as their tongues danced with each other. He felt her hand leave him and felt the skin at her hips become bare. She stood up and pulled her tank top over her head, exposing her delicate almost B cup to him. His hand went up to caress her breast, rolling her nipple between his thumb and index finger. She tossed her head to the side and closed her eyes at the feeling of having him touch her that way one last time._

_She pushed him back on the bed, straddling his hips. She rubbed herself against him as she dug into the pocket of her jeans. She pulled out a couple of foil packages, tossing them beside her on the bed. Edward's eyes went wide at the realization of where she was wanting it all to lead. Before he could think, her bare chest was pressed to him, her lips devouring his once again._

_Edward pushed her back at her hips and she released him. "Bella?" He searched the deep brown pools filled with a mixture of pure love and unadulterated lust._

"_I want you, Edward and I know you want me." She brushed her jean clad core across his exposed hardness._

_Edward put his hands over his face in complete and utter frustration for having to do what he was going to do._

"_Love, we can't."_

"_I want you to be my first. This is our last chance." She bent forward and pressed herself to his chest. She wiped her thumb across his soft cheekbone._

"_Bella. There is nothing more in this world that I'd rather do than to take you right here, right now." She smiled before pressing her lips back to his. He pushed her back by her shoulders. "But after tomorrow... we don't know when or if we'll ever see each other again. Plus, you're only fourteen."_

"_I'll be fifteen in a month," she protested._

"_You're still to young to go all the way. Hell, I'm still too young."_

_She rolled off of Edward and grabbed her tank top while he zipped up his pants. She sat at the edge of his bed as he sat next to her, his arm around her shoulders._

"_Leave it to me to fall in love with a guy who doesn't want to have sex with me."_

"_Bella, it's not a question of want. I want to, there is no doubt about that. But we are too young, if not by our standers, by the standers of the law. You know if your father ever found out, he kill me or throw me in jail. Neither would I like to experience."_

"_He hasn't caught us doing any of the other stuff we have done." She turned to him with a smile and a sparkle in her eye._

"_Right." He smiled with a soft laugh before placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Most importantly though, if I ever get the chance to make love to you, I want it to be for the right reasons. I want to be the man that gives you the best experience of your life. I'm afraid with our lack of experience it would be mediocre at best. I'd like to think I'd know what I'm doing since I think I've done well in all the other areas, but I'm sure when it comes down to it, I really wouldn't have a clue."_

"_We do have all those other bases covered, don't we?"_

"_That we do." He picked up her hand and kissed lightly across her knuckles. "I love you, Bella. If by some miracle we get another chance, I promise we'll do it right."_

"_I'm gonna hold you to that." She let out a soft laugh before wrapping her arms around his neck._

_Edward swept Bella up into his arms under her knees and carried her to the middle of the bed. Her long chestnut locks fanned across his pillow as his head laid on her chest. He pulled the blanket up over the both of them crating their own little Edward and Bella cocoon._

"_This is nice too," Bella murmured as her fingers found their home in his hair. Edward lazily drew circles around her belly button as her eyes fluttered closed._

**/&/**

Bella woke with the faint feeling of Edward's fingertips circling her belly button.

She sat up and looked around her room. Nothing there was special or held much meaning to her. Just the same old furniture she'd had for years and her laptop sitting in the overstuffed chair in the corner of the room. One thing stood out. The pictures of her and Edward from the photo booth lying on her nightstand.

"Edward," she sighed.

She looked down to them empty spot in her bed beside her. Something was missing. She laughed at herself for missing something that had never even been there. But there she was, sitting alone in her bed, missing Edward there beside her.

She recognized the ring on the phone before it barely had a chance to ring. Edward.

"Hey. It's kinda early for you."

"Yes, but it's a big day." His velvety voice made her warm in all the right places even over the phone.

"Big day, hun? What's so special about today?"

"It's ninety days today and I'm going to take the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on out to celebrate."

"I hope you and Rosalie have a wonderful day together."

"Funny. I'm picking you up in thirty minutes so get dressed."

"Alice relinquish your keys finally?"

"I'm very persuasive. Plus, she's seen what a good boy I've been lately."

"You have been an especially good boy. I've actually been meaning to talk to you about that." She felt herself blush at the memory of her dream and the promise he had made to her so many years ago.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" Edward was intrigued. Everything had been going so well the past three weeks, but he didn't want to push anything before they really got to know each other again.

Bella sat in thought for a moment trying to figure out how the dream had really effected her. "Well... I was having this dream."

"Yes. Go on."

"I was having this dream and when I woke up, I really wished you had been here beside me."

Edward stopped breathing. Just the thought of the two of them in her bed together drained every ounce of air from his lungs.

"I'll be there in two minutes." He got up and rushed around his room, stuffing all his things in his pockets before grabbing his coat.

"No, Edward. I didn't mean right now. I was just thinking after what ever you have planned today, we could come back here and eventually I can make you breakfast."

Once again, air... all gone. His head was swimming with the thoughts of the hundreds of things he had done to Bella in the deep recesses of his mind over the years. He knew he had to make this a day she would never forget.

"On one condition."

"Condition? You know I'm inviting you to-"

"Yes," he cut her off. "I know, but I want to do something first. After we spend the day together, I want to take you out on a real date. Me in a tie. You in a dress. The whole production. Deal?"

"Alright, but I can't promise you I will last that long."

"Hey, I offered now and you said no," he said as he reached the entryway. He slipped on his jacket and pulled his keys out of his pocket.

"I know. We'll make it an early dinner, okay?"

"Then I'll go pick up some breakfast and give you a little more time to get ready."

"See you soon."

"Bye," he laughed before shutting off his phone, shoving it in his pocket.

"Al, I'm leaving!" Edward waited for a response. Instead his sister came out to the entryway to meet him.

"What's the plan today?"

"Bella and I are going to hang out, then I'm taking her out to dinner. I'll be back around five or so to get changed."

"Oh." Alice scrunched up her nose in delight. "Where are you going to take her?"

"Valentino's. I remembered how much you loved it, so I thought why not."

"Perfect." She got up on her tip toes to hug her brother around the neck.

"Don't expect me home tonight."

Alice jumped off of him in shock. "You think you're staying at Bella's tonight?"

"Yep." He popped his 'p' as he rolled back on his heals.

"I was wondering how long before you two hooked up again."

"I'm telling you Alice for the five thousandth time, we never had sex back then."

"Sure. Sure." She shook her head in disbelief. Bella would never talk about the intimate parts of her life with Alice, but she could always tell when Bella had been on some sexual roller coaster with her brother. She never once doubted that they were most certainly together all the way.

"I've been waiting a long time to be with Bella. I made her a promise. Now that I have her back, I have every intention of following through with it."

**/&/**

After drawing out breakfast for three hours of lingering on Bella's couch, they decided to venture into the outside world.

They spent the afternoon munching on popcorn while taking in the newest James Bond flick. By the end neither of them knew what had happened or if James had even got the girl.

Before they knew it, Bella had already dressed for the evening and they were back at Alice's.

Edward was showering and getting ready while Alice entertained Bella in the kitchen.

"So... Edward's staying at your place tonight?"

Bella wrung her hands as that every present blush made another appearance on her cheeks. "That is the plan."

"You've got to tell me. After all these years, you can be honest. Did my brother... uh... you know... pop your cherry?"

Bella let out a nervous laugh. She didn't know weather to be embarrassed or upset by the question. She cleared her throat and gave her the honesty she was looking for. "No, Alice. Edward and I have never had sex. Well, not intercourse. Okay, I feel like a sex ed teacher here."

"Then you did do other things then?" Alice munched down on a carrot.

"Yes, I guess you'd say we got all the other experiences out of the way. Now, we just have one more." Bella bit down on her lip as she stared at her hands.

"One more what?" Edward asked innocently as he walked behind Bella in his black suit, crisp white button down shirt, and black tie.

"Nothing for you to worry about." Bella turned to him, stood, and placed her hands on his chest. "You ready to go?"

"Yep."

They said their goodbyes to Alice and left her as she sent a wink to Edward. Confused, he lead Bella out to the car. He assumed it was just a good luck wink and went on with the evening.

They had little problem getting seated at the restaurant. The owner owed Edward a favor for helping him out with a radio spot.

They were seated and ordered, then greeted by the owner before their meals were delivered.

"This is perfect. I'm so glad you suggested it." Bella took a bite of her ravioli.

"I thought we deserved to treat ourselves. This is an important night."

"I know. I'm so proud of you. Ninety days is a big step."

"I have to say, it has been easier having you around. I feel like I've really gotten to know you again. I've fallen in love with you all over again."

Bella dipped her head down to gather her thoughts, but Edward reached for her hand before she could.

"It might be really fast or ten years to late, I'm not really sure. I just know I love you and I don't know how I lived all those years without you."

Bella nodded as she squeezed his hand back. She took a deep breath before pouring her own heart out. "This might sound a little pathetic, but I really haven't felt like I've been living lately. Just existing. For my dad. For Emmett. For Victoria and Sarah, but not for me. That's until you came back into my life. I can't even begin to explain it, I just know I feel it. I love you, more than I ever thought I was capable of. Tonight..." Bella's eyes looked down to the table in front of her as she swallowed hard. She pulled her eyes back up to his to show him the depths of her new found emotions. "I want to show you."

Edward held up his hand to signal the waitress. "Check please."

Within minutes, they were racing down the highway in Edward's silver Volvo back to Bella's house.

They put Edward's car in the garage next to Bella's. Before they could even get into the house, Bella was pulling off Edward's jacket.

"Bella, let's just get to your room."

Bella dragged him into the house and into her room.

Edward unzipped the back of her silk black dress. Bella let it slip off her shoulders and pool at her feet. She kicked it across the room and slipped out of her shoes as Edward took in a sharp breath.

"What?" she coyly asked as she went to work on his tie.

"Did you wear that just for me?"

Bella looked over herself and realized he had noticed the green lace bra and matching boy shorts. She smiled before licking her lips. "You like?"

All Edward could do was nod as she freed him from his shirt. Her hands made their way to his belt and made quick work of getting him out of his pants and boxers. He stood in front of her at full attention and she couldn't help but start to stroke him.

"Oh Bella."

He brought his hands up to unclasp her bra. He slid it off her shoulders while leaving kisses across her collarbone. Even though he didn't want to, he stopped the movements of her hand so he could remove her underwear. His body moved down her torso, leaving a trail of wet kisses, as he pulled the green lace down her milky white calves.

Her nails dug deep into his shoulders as his tongue circled her belly button. Her moans were unstoppable as he made it down further to kiss her bare skin just above her lower lips. He brought his fingers up in between her thighs to feel the wetness that was pooling there.

"So wet. So soft," his breath whispered against her center.

"Edward, please." She took a fist full of his hair and brought his eyes to meet hers. "I've waited too long. I need you."

Edward rose from his knees and captured her lips in another passionate kiss. He laid her down on the bed without a break from their passion. Bella's arm flailed to her nightstand as he pinned her down to her bed. She finally found the foil package she was looking for and ripped it open. She snaked her hands between them to slip the condom on him. He moaned into her mouth as he felt her fingers grazing his shaft. He pulled back to look into the big brown pools as he felt her position him at her entrance.

"Are you sure?" He asked, begging the gods that she was.

"I've never wanted anything more in my whole life."

He needed nothing else. He plunged into her in one swift motion. The small act turned both their worlds upside down and inside out. As they rocked their way into the ultimate pleasure, they became what they knew there were always meant to be, one.

The sound of Bella's moans and the way her thighs brought him in deeper encouraged him to move faster, get into her deeper. He wanted to crawl into her and never let go. He could feel the euphoria filling his brain. A high he had never gotten from any drug or any other sexual experience. She felt it too. She felt her legs start to quiver as all the muscles in her body tensed in the most overwhelming orgasm she had ever experienced. He felt her grip on him and couldn't hold back his own release.

"That..." her breath deep and uneven. "was worth waiting for."

He pulled himself out of her and instantly felt the loss of her warmth around him. She pulled the condom off of him and threw it in the bedside trash can.

He surprised her by pulling her on top of him. "Pretty amazing, then?"

"I don't think there are words in the English language to explain the levels of amazement that experience held." She kissed his lips softly then laid her head on his chest, her hair fanned out his chest.

He reached his hand up to thread through her hair. "That was a promise I never wanted to break."

Her eyes fluttered open to find the alarm clock on her nightstand. I was only eight forty-five. She pulled up her head and rested her chin on his chest. "It's still early and we do have all night."

"You read my mind." He brushed a few tendrils away from her cheek before pulling her lips to his. "This is something I am truly grateful for."


	4. So Thankful

Chapter 4 So Thankful

Their first night ran into the next day. That day flowed into that night then into the morning. By the time they had come to rest on Bella's living room floor, they had christened every room in her house. The laundry room proved to be a bit difficult, but Edward's creative mind made it work.

Their exhausted, naked selves laid together on the plush living room carpet. Bella was cradled against Edward's chest with an arm and leg flung across him as he laid on his back.

"We're going to have to go out eventually you know." Bella lazily drew circles around Edward's nipple with her fingertip.

Edward wrapped his arms around Bella and squeezed her to his chest. "I don't wanna," he pouted.

"As much as I have loved **everything **we've been doing for the past few days, we have to go out if only for one reason."

Edward kissed the top of her head. "What reason would that be, love?"

She pulled her chin up to rest on his chest. "We're out of condoms."

"I suppose that's a good enough reason. That and I'm sure Alice has left us both a million messages. I'm surprised-"

Edward was cut off by the doorbell followed by knocking. He sat up and carefully glanced out the front window to find the spiky haired pixie at the front door.

"Speak of the devil and she shall appear."

Bella grabbed a blanket from the couch and wrapped herself up. "Go throw on your boxers at least. I'll see what she wants.

Edward gave her a peck on the lips before heading towards the bedroom. Bella got a smack on his ass before he made it to the hall eliciting the most gloriously mischievous smile from Edward before he disappeared.

Bella shook her head as she walked over to the door and opened it a crack.

"Are you going to let me in? It is November out here."

"Sure, Al."

Bella opened the door wide enough for Alice to slide in.

"I hate to interrupt you and my brother's hormones getting reacquainted, but you have responsibilities young lady. First order of business, get some clothes on your naked ass."

"On a power trip, are we?" Bella smirked as she tightened the blanket around her chest.

"Look," Alice placed her cold hands on Bella's bare shoulders. "You asked for my help. You do realize your photo shoot and interview are on Saturday. It's Wednesday. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and then you know you won't get anything done on Black Friday. Today is it, sweetie. We have a meeting with Marco the wig guy in two hours then we'll go back to the house where Rosalie and I can do a practice run on your make up." Alice finally took a breath and lowered her hands from Bella.

"You're right. I couldn't help but get carried away though. We will be more considerate in the future." Bella blushed a little at the thought of future adventures with Edward.

"Good. Now go get dressed. Something nice."

"Do you want to pick something out?" Bella said as she got to the hallway.

"I really don't think I'm up to seeing the condition of your bedroom right now." Alice raised her eyebrows.

"Right. I'll just be a few."

Bella walked into her bedroom just as Edward was pulling his sweater over his head.

"Where did that come from?" Bella questioned as she dropped the blanket.

Edward groaned. "I had a bag with some clothes in the car, just in case."

"Good thing because we've got places to go." Bella started digging through her drawers for a bra and pair of matching underwear.

"Where is Alice dragging us?" He sat on the edge of the bed, slipping his shoes on as she pulled on her underwear.

"I have to get my new wig for the shoot on Saturday. Then a makeup run back at Alice's." She put on her bra and stepped into the closet.

"You want me to go with you?" He wondered why she would want him with her. They hadn't talked about weather he and Victoria would be seen together.

"Yes," she called. "Is that okay?"

"It's fine. We just haven't talked about Victoria and I."

She walked out of the closet in a fitted gray sweater dress with black leggings. "If you don't want to-"

"No," he cut her off as he grabbed her hands and brought her to sit on the bed beside him. "I just didn't know how much a part of Victoria's life I would be included in."

"Edward." She put her hand over his. "I want you involved in every part of my life. That includes Victoria. Do you think you can do that?"

"Anything for you, love." He cupped her cheek and brought his lips to hers. "I love every part of you."

"Every dysfunctional part?" She laughed.

"Every part." He placed another soft kiss on her lips before pulling back to gaze in her eyes. "I suppose Alice is waiting?"

"Yep. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Bella grabbed a pair of black knee high boots and slipped them on before Edward took her hand and led her out to where Alice was waiting.

**/&/**

"Perfect!" Alice cried as the wig was styled and fitted to Bella's head.

Bella ran her fingers through the light auburn locks. "I like it. It's a little more sophisticated yet really fun. What do you think?" Bella turned to Edward.

"I like the brown better, but I have to admit, you are breath taking." He leaned down and gave her another peck on the lips.

"Thanks so much, Marco. We'll take it." Bella handed him her business credit card.

"I'll be back in just a minute." Marco ran off to ring her up.

Bella sat in amazement looking at herself in the mirror. She had always thought of Victoria as a little more beautiful than the day to day Bella, but with the new hair Victoria was truly breath taking. Victoria usually had very long strawberry blond locks. Alice wanted to change it up a little bit when they found the light auburn color. This wig was just past Bella's shoulders with bangs. She never imagined she would ever look good with bangs, but there she sat looking radiant.

"You do realize," Alice bent down to put her face beside Bella's, looking at her in the mirror. "In just a few weeks, the world will see this new, gorgeous Victoria. You're going to be even more popular if that's even possible."

Bella brought her hand up to cup Alice's cheek as she looked over to Edward smiling down at her. "I'm ready."

**/&/**

"I get the drumstick!" Emmett called as he entered Alice and Jasper's kitchen as Jasper and Edward were working on carving the turkey.

"You're gonna have to fight me for it," Edward smirked as he piled slices of turkey on a serving plate.

"Hey, I've given you my little sister. I should at least get the drumstick."

"Given? You better not let Bella hear you say that." Edward shook his head at his friend as Jasper just smiled and kept on carving. "How are things going with Rosalie by the way?"

Jasper raised his head up to wait for Emmett's response. Emmett waited for Jasper to put the knife he was holding down before he continued.

Emmett swallowed hard. "Good. Wonderful in fact. I never would of imagined a cop and the owner of a fashion magazine would have so much in common."

"Other than the physical?" That comment earned Edward a hard punch in the arm from Jasper.

"Ugh... What I mean is she's really obsessed with cars just like I am. She has even talked about us rebuilding a car together. She's the dream woman." Emmett looked to Jasper nervously as he picked the knife back up.

"As long as she's happy," Jasper sliced the turkey. "I'll be happy."

Emmett let out the breath he'd been holding. Even though he knew he could take Jasper down in one punch, Emmett was aware how close he and Rosalie were. He never wanted to cause any trouble between a brother and sister. He knew how close he and Bella were and would never want anyone to put a strain on that relationship. He wouldn't wish that on anyone.

"Are you guys done yet?" Bella asked as she strolled in on their male bonding session. "Dad and Carlisle are getting grouchy. They're hungry and their team can't make a touchdown to save their lives." Bella wandered over to the stove and grabbed the hot pads to pull the green bean casserole from the oven.

"Just about." Jasper cut off the last of the dark meat from the bones.

"Everything else is ready then." Bella waved her hand over the steaming dish as Edward wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"I can't believe Alice let you do all this. Her kitchen is like her sanctuary."

"She doesn't know it yet, but she's cleaning up." Bella turned and gave Edward a quick peck on the cheek.

**/&/**

Dinner flowed like they had all done it hundreds of times before. The Swan's all settled nicely back into the Cullen family gathering. Charlie and Carlisle caught up on so much they had missed over the years, even planning a fishing trip come the next spring. Esme beamed at the sight of all her children so happy. Alice and Jasper so comfortable as the hosts of their first holiday as a married couple. Edward and Bella together after so many years of living without each other's love. Then Emmett and Rosalie at the beginning of something completely new. All of them so blissful. Esme knew she had so much to be thankful for.

After dinner, Alice started on the cleaning effort as the rest of them settled down in front of the television watching football.

As the evening came to an end, Charlie gave Edward a firm handshake before giving his little girl a hug. Having his approval meant so much to the both of them. The girls all agreed to a lunch date with Esme the next week before she left. Emmett and Rosalie left for places unknown. Then it was time for Bella to leave. She didn't want to. She didn't want to spend a second away from Edward, but she knew they would have to part eventually.

"You'll call me when you two are done shopping?" Edward asked as she led them to the door.

"I'm sure I'll be calling for you to come rescue me within the first hour."

"Don't even think about it. We are getting our Christmas shopping done tomorrow. Don't worry. I've got it all mapped out. It'll be over in no time." Alice came and gave Bella a quick hug. "Go home and get some rest. I'm picking you up at four thirty sharp."

Bella groaned. "Alice, please don't expect too much. It really isn't my time of day."

"Don't worry. I'll have coffee and your favorite scones. Sound good?"

"Okay, but the blueberry ones, alright."

"Sure." Alice gave Bella's hand a squeeze before returning to the kitchen.

"It's just one day. It'll be over before you know it." Edward pulled Bella into his arms as he laid a kiss on her forehead.

"I know. I guess I'm just nervous. All that shopping, then having to be perfect on Saturday. I just hope I can pull this off."

"You can, love. You know you can."

**/&/**

As predicted, Friday went by in a blur. Before Bella knew it, she was sitting in a warm bubble bath with Edward's arms and legs surrounding her.

She detailed the day while he massaged circles up and down her spine before they slipped into bed.

Saturday quickly approached and before Bella knew it, she was sitting in a makeup chair with Rosalie doing her best.

"I have to admit, your friends are making you even more beautiful than I ever imagined."

"Thanks, Jess. Cause I was so helpless before." Bella laughed as her editor made it to her side.

"You know what I mean." Jessica sat in the chair across from Bella.

"Jess, this is Rosalie. The little pixie with the clothes is Alice. This handsome man right here is Edward."

Edward smiled as he extended his hand to shake Jessica's. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"You as well. I've never seen our little Victoria so inspired over the last few weeks. You know I've been hounding her for an outline for the next book for months. You know she e-mailed me the most amazing outline just before Thanksgiving."

"Really?" Edward lifted his brow to Bella.

"What can I say? I have always written with a little real life experiences mixed in." Bella smile as she eyed Edward.

"Just not every real life experience I hope."

Bella caught Edward's meaning. "Not every one." She winked at him before Rosalie applied the lip gloss.

"I think you're ready." Bella looked in the mirror to see the new Victoria pulled together.

"You two are goddesses." Bella admired herself in the mirror.

"We just accentuated what was already there, sweetie." Alice wrapped her arms around Bella as she took a deep breath.

They all turned when they heard the door open. A tall, slender black man with shoulder length dreadlocks entered.

"Are we ready to put you on film?"

"Yes, Laurent. Sorry if I kept you waiting."

"No, we're right on schedule Miss Lane."

"Please call me Victoria. I'm not really that formal."

"Yes, Victoria. We're all set up. My assistant just finished with the lighting."

"You don't have a problem with my friends watching, do you?"

"Not at all. If they can keep you relaxed and I like to keep these shoots fun, it is fine with me."

"Wonderful." Bella took Edward's hand as they filed out to the area they would be shooting.

Laurent led Bella over to where he had set up a mock detective's office. Bella was wearing a black knee length pencil skirt with a crisp white fitted blouse and black high heels. It seemed Laurent was going for a forties detective movie type of feel. Bella really like the idea.

"I want to do a few with you sitting on the desk, then we'll move to the chair. We can just wing it from there, then you can go change for the other little scenario I've got worked up."

"Sounds great." Bella sat on the desk and crossed her legs while her fingers gripped the edge.

Laurent started flashing and clicking, trying to get Bella's every move as Edward just beamed behind him. She moved to the chair and then just kind of went walking around the set.

A flash went off and Laurent stopped. "I need a new flash. Just give me a second, Victoria."

"No problem." Laurent moved back a couple feet over to a man who handed him a new flash.

Bella froze. Shock and horror crossed her face as her heart rate sped up at the sight of the blond ponytail. She stood perfectly still as she caught the profile of Laurent's assistant. The face of a man she never wanted to see again as long as she lived.

Edward saw the panic in her eyes and went right to her side.

"What is it, love? You look like you're going to be sick." He took her hands in his.

She looked into his eyes as they started to fill with tears. "I've got to get out of here."

"You've still got more pictures to take and then the interview. Is it just too much?"

"No, it's just..." Bella's eyes returned to the assistant helping Laurent with his camera.

"Him?"

Bella swallowed hard as she squeezed her eyes shut. "It's James."


	5. Take a Breath

Chapter 5 Take a Breath

Bella could feel the tears start to well up in her eyes as Edward stood with a clenched jaw.

"I'm going to take care of this." Edward turned and motioned for Alice to come over. "Alice can take you back to the dressing room. I'll be in there shortly."

Alice made it over to them. "Is everything alright?"

"Just take Victoria back to the dressing room. I'll come and explain in a minute."

Alice took Bella's hand and ushered her into the dressing room with Rosalie. Jessica approached Edward confused.

"What's going on, Edward?"

Edward pulled Jessica over away from prying eyes and ears. "Victoria has told you the whole story about how this all was inspired? About all the things that were done to her?"

Jessica's eyebrows raised. "Yes."

"Well..." Edward ran his hands nervously through his hair as he caught himself looking at James. "Laurent's assistant over there is James."

"Oh shit." Jessica immediately clasped her hand over her mouth.

"I think if I tell Laurent that she's just a little nervous with all the people around, he'll get rid of James. I just hope he hasn't already recognized her." Edward couldn't keep his eyes off of James as he adjusted the lighting.

"Come on. Let's get that douche bag out of here." Jessica strode over to where Laurent and James were talking with Edward at her heals.

"Is Victoria alright?" Laurent asked as he saw she was no where to be found.

"Just a case of nerves," Jessica answered. "I think if maybe it was just you that she'd be a little more comfortable."

Edward couldn't stop the rage flowing through his veins as James just stood there smiling.

"Sure. I'll set up the next shot. Tell her to get changed and I'll come get her when everything is ready."

"Thanks for being so understanding." Jessica turned, walking towards the dressing room.

"Edward, right?" Laurent questioned.

"Yes?" Edward met Laurent's gaze, trying to avoid the look James was now giving him.

"Is she really alright? I really don't want to put anymore pressure on her. I have some wonderful shots already."

"I think she'll be fine. She's just never done this before. She feels a lot more pressure with this book than any of the others. I think the lack of sleep and nerves are just getting to her." Edward tried his best to soften his cold tone as he ended his statement with a crooked smile.

"It happens to the best of them," James scoffed as handed the camera over to Laurent.

"I'm sure it's just a one time thing. My Victoria is a very strong woman." Edward spat at James.

"Your Victoria?" James raised his eyebrows. "Guess the tabloids hadn't gotten a hold of that yet." He let out a small laugh at the end.

Edward was noticeably upset, but knew he couldn't do a thing about it... then. "I'll go see if she's ready."

"Just give me a few minutes." Laurent smiled as he picked his camera back up.

Edward briskly walked back to the dressing room.

He walked in to see Bella sitting with her head in her hands as Rosalie rubbed her back. Alice sat crouched in front of her whispering reassuring words.

"If it's any consolation, I don't think James recognized you." Edward sat down next to Bella and started rubbing her knee.

"Thank God for small favors. I guess I should probably get changed. I'm afraid you're going to have to reapply all your hard work." She patted Rosalie's hand as it rested on her shoulder.

"You just get dressed and we'll have you looking like a million bucks again in no time." Rosalie smiled as Bella got up and went to change.

The rest of them all exchanged worried looks, but didn't speak.

Bella finished the shoot with no further problems. She thanked Laurent for his understanding and went off to meet the reporter from Entertainment Weekly at her favorite restaurant for her interview.

Bella arrived alone at Assaggio a little after three to meet with Gregory Kirschling for her interview.

Even though the restaurant was closed that late in the afternoon to the public, Bella was able to arrange for her and Greg to do the interview there. Victoria frequented the restaurant as did Bella. Italian was her favorite food and chef Mauro Golmarvi was the best in the area in Bella's opinion.

"Victoria. It's so good to finally meet you," Greg greeted as she entered the restaurant.

"You too." Bella shook his hand as he lead her over to their table.

"If you can believe it, this is my first trip to Seattle in years."

"Let's hope I can help make it a good one. Mauro makes the best Italian food outside of Italy."

The eased into a conversation more than an interview to Bella's relief. Greg was remarkably easy to talk to which was a huge weight off her shoulders after her photo shoot.

Bella devoured her Melanzane al Forno, aka Eggplant Parmesan, while Greg took in the Filetto de Manzo, aka beef tenderloin with Gorgonzola and red wine sauce.

They talked about a million things throughout the meal. Bella felt so at ease in Victoria's skin for once. They laughed and shared stories, Bella had to make sure to keep everything in Victoria's perspective.

As they were finishing their dessert, Greg asked the one question she'd hoped he wouldn't.

"So now we know all about Sarah and her misadventures, when do we get to hear about yours? How can someone as beautiful and successful as yourself go unattached all these years?" Greg lifted his eyebrow, dying for her response.

"It's been hard, trying to concentrate on my work and even thinking about a relationship. It never seemed like a possibility until I met the right guy." Instantly she realized she had said "met" instead of "meet" giving Greg the distinct impression that she was already involved.

"There is someone then." Greg nodded. "Is that off the record?"

Bella thought about it for a second realizing the conversation she had with Edward about including him in every part of her life. If he was going to be around, it might as well come out sooner or later.

"No, we've only been back together for a few months. We dated when we were younger and just ran into each other a few months ago. We realized the spark was still there so we're giving it another try." Honestly, it was the absolute truth, except it was Bella's truth not Victoria's.

"Why did the two of you break up in the first place?"

Bella eyed Greg. She knew she didn't want to much detail on the record.

"This part is off the record." Greg nodded in agreement as Bella took a deep breath. "His mother passed away and his father decided it was best to move away. Memories were too painful I guess. So they moved to the east coast. We made a clean break and decided to leave it up to fate to bring us together again. Thank God it did." Bella smiled and let out a soft laugh.

"You're happy then?"

"Extremely," she added.

"Just remember to invite me to the wedding, alright?"

Bella laughed again. "I'll see what I can do."

They parted ways as Greg promised to send Victoria a copy of the article when he was finished.

Bella made her way through the streets of Seattle to Alice's, where everyone was waiting.

Edward pulled her into a hug as soon as she crossed the threshold.

"It was fine, really. I'm fine."

He pulled back and cupped her cheeks with both of his hands. He looked into her sparkling chocolate eyes and saw nothing but complete happiness. He smiled before brining his lips down to hers.

Edward felt a strong tug at the back of his shirt. He reluctantly removed his lips from Bella's and instantly felt her being dragged away from him.

"I have to know everything." Alice dragged Bella into the kitchen as Edward followed.

Bella spent the evening retelling the story of her interview around the kitchen table to Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward.

Bella nibbled while the others ate dinner, but she was still very full of that delicious eggplant.

"I can't wait to take you there, Edward. I know you would love it."

"I can't believe we've never been there, Jas. Why is that?" Alice looked to her husband.

"Because even though you say you like to try new things, you, my dear, love the familiar. Once you find a place you love, taking you anywhere but is all but impossible." Jasper smiled as he kissed her cheek.

"I know you're right. Maybe it's time for a change." Alice caressed Jasper's cheek.

"Thank you, Bella for opening up her eyes." Jasper winked at Bella.

As the evening wound down, Alice pulled Bella aside. "If you want, you can stay over. I'm sure I could find something for you to wear."

"I have your permission, mom?"

Alice smacked Bella on the arm. "Just don't be too loud. I really have no interest in hearing my brother moan your name all night long."

At that Bella threw a dish towel at Alice before making her way to Edward's room.

Edward was just pulling his sweater over his head, leaving him in a gray t-shirt and jeans when Bella came in.

"I was just coming to see you out."

Bella sauntered over to where he stood in front of his closet. "Looks like you've gotten a reprieve. The warden has given you a..." She began to unbutton her blouse as she got closer. "Congical visit."

"She has, has she?" Edward's tongue darted out to wet his lips as he felt the blood flow instantly downward.

"On one condition." Bella slipped her blouse off her shoulders and tossed it on the floor before grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and yanking it above his head. "We have to be quiet. Do you think you can handle that?" She began laying open mouthed kisses across his collar bone as her arms snaked around his chest.

He threw his head back at the sensation of her soft lips traveling across his warmed flesh. "I'm willing to try, but I'm not making any promises."

Within mere seconds, Bella was stripped of the rest of her clothes. She didn't waste any time getting his jeans off and find his surprise waiting for her.

"Commando today?" She looked as he stood at attention with no boxers to be found.

"I usually do. It's just more comfortable, I think."

"You have no idea what a turn on that is."

"Why don't you show me," he whispered as he kissed along her jaw.

Bella was not one to back down from a challenge. She pressed him squarely on the chest back onto the bed. She scooted him up to where he was sitting with his back resting on his headboard.

"Just sit back and enjoy the ride." She kissed her way up his inner thigh while her hand began stoking his length.

He loved the feel of her slender fingers wrapped around him. He quivered as her tongue began to swirl circles as she made her way to his hip.

She took that as an encouraging sign. She brought her lips to his tip. Her tongue licked what glistened there. She craved the taste of him and needed more. She took as much of him as she could inside her mouth as his head banged against the headboard at the sensation.

Edward weaved his fingers through her brown locks as she continued to bring him to the brink of ecstasy.

"Bella, I'm not going to last much longer if you keep this up."

Bella swiftly grabbed a condom off the nightstand and slipped it on him before pulling herself up to meet his entrance.

She rubbed his tip across her wetness as his hands rested on her hips.

"I love you so much," Edward whispered as he squeezed her thighs.

"I love you," she whispered before delving her tongue into his mouth.

In one swift motion, she lowered herself onto him causing a series of deep moans to travel through their mouths. They muffled their moans by keeping their lips together as she continued to rock up and down on him. She felt his thumb travel from her hip to the bundle of nerves that was pounding against his pelvis. As his thumb circled, she felt the coil inside her tighten to a level he could only bring. He felt her muscles quiver around him as they both headed towards there release. He pressed just in the right spot to set her coil to completely unravel. He couldn't help but let go at the moment too.

She pulled her lips back from his as she continued to ride out her orgasm. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as he laid his head on her chest. She couldn't stop herself from grinding against him causing another wave of pleasure to shoot through her. He bit into her shoulder as her muscles clenched against him once more.

She finally came down, exhausted, as he continued to hold her in his arms.

"I say this room is throughly christened." Bella whispered as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"There is a walk in closet you know?" He kissed the side of her neck.

"You are ambitious tonight, aren't you?"

"Only cause I can't get enough of you, love."

She took his face in her hands bringing her lips to his before he flipped her onto her back. Bella let out a soft round of laughter, but Alice could hear it as she passed by the door.

Alice was anal about checking and rechecking the house before she went to bed. She had just locked the front door as she peeked out the peep hole to see a blue sedan idling across the street. As soon as she looked through the window beside the door to get a better look, the car sped off. As paranoid as Alice was, she knew whoever it was, it couldn't have been good.


	6. Looking at You

Chapter 7 Disguises

On Monday morning while Edward was hard at work on his computer finishing up his latest project, Bella was occurring the wrath of Garrett.

"I don't care if you have a boyfriend. Hell, I don't even care if you have a girlfriend. But Bella, we need a plan. This has already been picked up on the wire. I've even been getting calls from overseas. Now they've confirmed that he is indeed Edward Cullen, we have to have some sort of statement from you." Garrett slumped down in his office chair behind his desk after his little tirade.

Jessica and Bella just sat next to each other, silently snickering at Garrett's outburst.

"Edward is going to be with Victoria and I for a long time. Since he was with Victoria when this all occurred, the press will know that Victoria Lane is dating Edward Cullen," Bella uttered simply.

"What about Bella though?" Jessica questioned with concern. "He can't be seen with both of you."

Bella smiled at herself as her mind came up with a plan she was not entirely sure Edward would be comfortable with. "I know Alice can come up with some sort of disguise for when he goes out with Bella. That way he won't feel so left out in the whole dual personality thing."

"Fine," Garrett stated coldly. "You come up with a statement you and Edward are comfortable with and we'll post it on the website. I'm sure the press is checking it every minute for an update."

Bella went over to wrap her arms around Garrett's shoulders. "You know, you can be a real son of a bitch sometimes, but you are a great agent. Now can we talk about the release party?"

**/&/**

"See, it's not so bad." Bella stood behind Edward as he looked at his new image in the mirror.

"I kinda like it, but don't you dare tell Alice." He turned around and wrapped his arms around Bella's waist before kissing her forehead.

She ran her hand through his newly blackened locks. "I'm glad this stuff just washes out, but you know you and Alice look so much more alike now."

"Really?" Edward turned back around to reflect at his new appearance.

His crazy bronze mane was now a mess of black. His eyes were now a perfect shade of brown that he had loved so much reflected in his Bella's eyes. His clothes were a little more casual than usual. His dark jeans hung low from his waist and were slightly baggy. His long sleeved black t-shirt layered underneath a short sleeved green one was not his norm, but he felt completely comfortable in the new skin. A pair of black Chucks on his feet completed the new casual Edward.

"We haven't thought of a name for this new persona. You have any ideas?"

Edward grinned as his hands met hers at his waist. "What about Tony? I think it fits. Kinda musician mixed with an X-gamer type of feel."

"So you don't mind if I call you Tony in that moment of bliss?" Bella whispered in his ear before nibbling on his earlobe.

"Only if I can call you Victoria," he retorted.

Bella shook her head from side to side. "That would kinda creep me out. So no moaning Tony all night long."

"Now we are all set, where will Tony and Bella be spending their first night out together?"

"I know this little place. They have the best lobster. It's a really casual mom and pop sort of place. You game?"

"Sounds perfect."

**/&/**

"Just melts in your mouth, right?"

"Once again, you are right," Edward said as he reached over to pull Bella's hand to his lips. "How is it that you found this place anyway?"

"It's one of the only things I can remember about my freshman year in college. Some friends brought me here a couple of times." Bella found herself deep in thought as she placed another mouthful of lobster in her mouth.

She remembered how much fun she had with a couple of girlfriends having a night out. That was all before James. She brought him there a few times, but it wasn't like it was with the girls.

"What are you thinking so hard about, love?"

"Just how so much changed when I started seeing James."

"You've kinda avoided talking about seeing him again. I know it must of upset you. Can we talk about it?" Edward tried to rub reassuring circles with his thumb on the top of her hand.

"Everything is just so different with you. I mean he was sweet in the beginning and I think that's what really freaked me out the other day. He looked just like he did when I met him, like not a day had passed." She sighed before poking her fork around her plate.

"Any old feelings come up?" Edward had never considered that she felt anything but disgust for James. He was beginning to understand that she actually was in love with him for a time.

"One's that made me want to vomit. It wasn't like he was ever abusive or anything. He never beat me or treated me with anything other than what I thought was love. His addiction was too much though. The drugs meant more. So he got his fix while his dealer took a piece of me." A single tear ran down her cheek at the foggy memories.

"Closure," Edward uttered.

"What?" Bella sniffled a little as her eyes turned to Edward's.

"You left things so open ended. You just left and got into rehab. You never had closure. I understand cause I never had it with Kate either."

That was the first time that Edward had ever said her name in front of her. Alice had given Bella the down and dirty version, but Edward always just said his ex whenever the subject came up.

"Do you think we both need it to really move on?" Bella wasn't sure about confronting James, but she felt that working for Laurent was probably a good sign.

"Maybe we should, but let's not worry about it until after the new year. We only have a week until the release and the article in Entertainment Weekly coming out this week. First things first."

Bella smiled as Edward's new eyes caught a hold of hers. "I think I like this Tony guy. He's pretty smart."

"Tony has big plans for dessert." Edward smirked at Bella.

"Show me what you're made of, Tony."

"My little vixen tonight, are we?"

"You bet your ass." Bella smiled and licked her lips.

Bella got the check and they quickly made their way out to her car. Edward took the keys from Bella before tucking her into the passengers seat. He ran around to the drivers side and they headed back to Bella's place.

A blue sedan pulled out of the parking lot seconds after Edward and Bella did. Kate followed them until Edward pulled into the garage of a house not two miles from Alice and Jasper's.

She parked across the street a few houses down as she saw various lights go on and off throughout the house.

"I'm so confused," Kate muttered to herself.

She had no idea what was going on. She knew Edward was certainly with the auburn beauty from the other day. It was obvious to anyone who saw them. When she saw Edward with the new hair and the brunette on his arm, she thought he might be cheating on his other girl. Then when she took a really good look at the brunette through her telescopic binoculars, she could see the two women were one in the same.

Kate knew by the looks of it the two were settled in for the night. She wrote down the address of the house and headed home to find out all she could about it's owner.

**/&/**

"This is my favorite part. Listen. Listen" Alice cleared her throat as Bella and Edward cuddled on the couch, shaking their heads at Alice's enthusiasm towards the article.

"As our afternoon came to an end, Victoria relayed that after several years as a successful single, she indeed had a new flame. She assured me it was new but they were incredibly happy. Only days later, a statement was released on her website identifying her new flame as none other than Edward Cullen.

The name Cullen might sound familiar to you if you've ever studied music, fashion, or had a heart attack. Edward has been a successful pianist and composer ranked among the greatest artists in his profession. Sister, Alice Cullen, and step-sister, Rosalie Hale, are the brilliant minds behind the hottest new fashion magazine, "Temptations". The two Cullen siblings are the children of world renowned cardiologist, Carlisle Cullen. Seems like Victoria has settled in just fine with this famous family and this reporter believes we will be seeing Edward and Victoria for years to come."

Alice let out a giddy giggle as she melted into the chair across from the lovebirds.

"I don't think we could have asked for a better article. I think this Greg guy might have a little thing for you as well. Should I be worried?" Edward kissed Bella's neck as she snuggled back into him.

"Not in the slightest. I am all yours." Bella pulled Edward's arms tighter around her chest as she closed her eyes.

"Just promise me one thing?" Alice questioned. "Just don't elope. It would kill me if I didn't have a chance to plan the wedding."

Bella shot up and turned around to look at Edward. His expression clearly read he was as shocked as she was.

"Is there something you haven't told me?" Bella was by no means fishing for a proposal, but if he was planning something she certainly wanted to know.

"Ali," Edward turned to his darling sister. "I promise you will know when it happens, but Bella and I haven't really even discussed marriage, have we?" He turned back to Bella.

"No, not really." Bella straightened herself up on the couch.

Edward could hear the disappointment in her voice, but knew marriage was not their most immediate concern.

"Love, I know we haven't talked about it and things are really kind of confusing right now. I know I never want to be with anyone other than you for the rest of my life. I think it's one of the few things I am certain of right now. I fear until I'm further in my treatment and you've gotten at least another manuscript under your belt, it's not something we should be jumping into."

Bella turned to see the sincerity in Edward's face. "I know you're right. Maybe we could take it one step further though."

Edward pulled her in further as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "And what would that step be?"

"Move in with me."

Alice practically choked on the handful of popcorn she had just popped in her mouth.

Edward turned to Alice as she cleared her mouth of the offensive popcorn.

"So it's okay for us to run down the aisle, Ali, but not move in together?" Edward questioned as Bella handed Alice a bottle of water.

"No, no... That's not what I meant." Alice coughed a couple times before taking a swig of water. "Bella just seemed so blunt about it. It wasn't even a question."

"That's because she knew I'd say yes."

Bella turned to him with a sweet smile as her brown pools watered up. "Okay then. It's gonna have to be soon though. You think we can pull it off?"

"I think it can be arranged." Edward pulled her away from Alice's side and into his arms. "Just remember when you tell your dad and Emmett I'm moving in that it was all your idea."

"Oh," Bella pouted her lips. "Is my big strong man afraid of my family?"

"Hell ya. They have guns and know how to use them. Em already told me he could hide my body where no one could find it."

Bella laid her head on his chest as he rested his chin on top of her hair. "You're safe with me. Always."

**/&/**

The article turned out to be a huge success. The pictures were showing up all over the place in one version or another. Bella was sure that Laurent was becoming a very rich man.

Anytime Victoria was spotted, the press went wild. Thus, Bella and Tony were finding a way to comfortably fit together.

Alice was happy with Tony's look, saying Tony looked more like her than Edward ever had.

Tony and Bella found themselves visiting all the quaint out of the way places in Seattle and falling more in love every day.

They decided to redecorate the house a little before the move which led them to an little antique shop. They had to call Emmett down with his truck to help them hall everything home. A new nightstand for their bedroom and a wrought iron king bed plus the huge leather chair filled the entire truck bed.

Edward was happy when they found the bed because that meant mattress shopping. He and Bella spent two hours testing out as many mattresses as they could while acting like two horny teenagers. The employees seemed used to that type of behavior. An older lady even smiled and laughed it off as an everyday occurrence. They settled on a king pillow top mattress. Edward loved the thought of so many mornings curled up together in it's heavenly goodness. While Bella was momentarily distracted by the older lady, Edward paid for the mattress and arranged for it to be delivered that afternoon.

Edward was completely moved in just two days before the book's release. It felt like Alice, Rose, and Jessica had moved in also because they were all there twenty-four seven preparing the two of them for their big coming out party.

The night of the release party, Alice had dressed Edward in a black Armani suit and a deep royal blue dress shirt. Bella, in full Victoria regalia, wore a black evening gown with one strap over her shoulder with crystal beading throughout the entire gown. Edward was blown away as she took him in her arms.

"You're dazzling." He kissed along her jaw before making his way to her soft, moist lips.

"I could say the same thing about you." She pulled away from him, taking in his splendor.

"How long do we have to be at this thing? I'm not sure I won't just rip that right off of you."

Bella leaned in and kissed him again before grabbing her cloak. "It'll be a lot of kissing butt to the publishers and some retailers. Then there will be a bunch of fan club members that I'll be signing autographs for. We will be back in bed doing unspeakable things by midnight." She raised her brow to him as she reached for the front door.

Edward lead Bella down the front walk to their awaiting limo.

Within fifteen minutes, they had settled into the comfortable atmosphere in the hotel ballroom. Hundreds of people milling around, throwing their congratulations left and right, even though none of them had even read the book yet.

"I would like to take a moment to recognize why we're all here tonight. It's not just for the free food and booze. It's for a woman who's talent has captivated so many of us over the past five years. Ladies and gentleman, it is my great honor to introduce the creator of Sarah Scott. The one, the only, Miss Victoria Lane."

The crowd erupted in a large round of applause as Bella left Edward's side to go to the stage. She gave Garrett a hug before taking the microphone from him.

"Thank you all so much for coming to celebrate yet another milestone with me tonight. It means more than I can ever say that you all have been so supportive over the years. With this novel," Jessica handed her a hard backed copy of her newest book. "You will find Sarah in one of the toughest situations she's ever faced. If you have been living under a rock, you might not know that it is entitled 'Back at the Beginning'. It's not exactly what I had planned for the series originally, but I believe it helps the readers find out so much more about Sarah. Things that fans have been hounding me for years will come to light. Not everything though. I still plan on two more novels in this series, so enjoy Sarah's turmoils and look forward to a few more. Thank you."

Bella handed the microphone off as the crowd once again applauded her. She went into her big brother's awaiting arms.

"I'm so proud of you, sis. You've done us all so proud."

"Thanks, Em. I love you so much for coming. It means more than you'll ever know."

Emmett pulled his sister into his tight embrace as he stroked his huge hand up and down her back as a few tears stained his jacket.

"I can't fucking believe it." A whisper from beside Laurent drew his attention away from where Bella was standing across the room.

"What is it, James?" Laurent looked to his friend for an answer.

"That is the fucking cop that arrested me and broke my arm."

Laurent looked over to the burly man hugging Victoria then back to James. "I thought you said that cop was Bella's brother?"

"Ya, he is. That's why Victoria seemed so familiar." James pulled Laurent closer to whisper. "Victoria is Bella."

Laurent shook his head from side to side. "Your fucked now, man. There is no way you'd get anywhere close to her now. Especially if her brother sees you."

"You gotta help me. You know that Cullen jerk off won't let me anywhere near me. You're my only hope," James pleaded.

"Fine, we'll think of something. We better get out of here though before that cop brother of hers breaks your other arm."

**/&/**

Two hours later, Bella was making her way out of a small room off the ballroom where she had met with a few of her fan club organizers. She was anxious to make it back to Edward and begin working on some unspeakable things when she was tapped on the shoulder.

"Miss Lane?"

"Yes?" She turned to meet the brilliant blue eyes of the most muscular man she'd ever seen outside of her own brother.

"I was wondering if I could have a private word." He pulled a something from his jacket pocket. "Riley Parker, FBI."

"Of course, Agent Parker," Bella let out after examining his badge. "What is this about?"

"If you'd just step in here with me for a minute."

"Yes." Being confused and a little freaked out didn't stop Bella from entering another room to find a tall blond waiting for them.

"I'll take it from here, Riley."

Riley nodded and shut the door behind Bella leaving the two women alone.

"I don't know what this is about, but I have a sinking feeling I'm not going to like it." Bella crossed her arms across her chest.

"I just have a few pictures I'd like to show you." The blond handed Bella a folder with several photos out of it.

Bella went through the folder to find several pictures of her and "Tony" from all over the city.

Bella felt her throat go dry as she tried to swallow.

"I know all about you, Miss Swan." The blond pulled out another folder as she sat at a nearby table. "Born in Forks, Washington to Charles and Renee Swan. One brother, Emmett Swan of the SPD. After graduating from Forks High School you entered The University of Washington as an English major. You met one James Camp shortly there after. That May, Mr. Camp was arrested for possession of an illegal substance and it seems that you spent the remainder of the summer as an inpatient at Seattle Recovery Center. A year later, you released your first novel under your pen name, Victoria Lane. After graduating UW, you bought a nice three bedroom, three bath house and settled in Seattle. Which brings us to this past October when you started dating one Edward Cullen." She drew out every syllable of Edward's name.

Bella shook her head in slight realization. "That's what this about? This is about Edward?"

The blond sat deep in thought as she closed Bella's file. "Yes, this is about Edward." She stood up and took the photos from Bella's grasp. "And if you want to keep Victoria Lane and Isabella Swan two separate people, you will help me."

"Why in the world would I help you? I don't even know who you are."

The blond pulled out a black leather badge and handed it to Bella. "I'm Kate Denali."

Bella shoved Kate's badge back in her chest. "I really don't give a flying fuck if you are FBI. If you think you can blackmail me into leaving Edward, you picked the wrong girl." Bella turned to leave, but Kate grabbed her wrist in desperation.

"Bella, please."

Bella turned and ripped her hand from Kate's grasp, infuriated at this point. "Please, what? Let you try to blackmail me into giving up the best thing in my life? What? Just so he can take you back? The woman that broke his heart in a million pieces, not to mention ruining his beautiful hand?"

Bella stood waiting for an answer as Kate tried to compose herself as not to set Bella off again.

"I don't want Edward back."

"Really?" Bella looked at her unconvinced.

"I see how happy he is with you. We never seemed to have that." Kate filtered her fingers through her hair as she took a deep breath. "I just never got to tell him I'm sorry. I need a chance to make it up to him. Can you just get him to talk to me?"

Bella squeezed her eyes shut. She had no idea if Kate was telling the truth or not. She knew Edward wanted to make amends, but she still wasn't sure of Kate's intentions. She trusted Edward implicitly, but Kate was a different story. FBI agents practically lied for a living, at least all the ones she knew. Was Kate any different?

"You got a card or something?" Bella gritted through her teeth.

"Sure." Kate pulled her card from her pocket and handed it to Bella.

Bella looked it over then turned her scowl back to Kate. "I'm not making you any promises. Edward is his own man." She looked Kate over as she swallowed her disgust. "I'll be in touch."

With that, Bella turned on her heal and headed out the door.

Kate slumped down in her chair praying that this time she hadn't gone too far.


	7. Disguises

Chapter 7 Disguises

On Monday morning while Edward was hard at work on his computer finishing up his latest project, Bella was occurring the wrath of Garrett.

"I don't care if you have a boyfriend. Hell, I don't even care if you have a girlfriend. But Bella, we need a plan. This has already been picked up on the wire. I've even been getting calls from overseas. Now they've confirmed that he is indeed Edward Cullen, we have to have some sort of statement from you." Garrett slumped down in his office chair behind his desk after his little tirade.

Jessica and Bella just sat next to each other, silently snickering at Garrett's outburst.

"Edward is going to be with Victoria and I for a long time. Since he was with Victoria when this all occurred, the press will know that Victoria Lane is dating Edward Cullen," Bella uttered simply.

"What about Bella though?" Jessica questioned with concern. "He can't be seen with both of you."

Bella smiled at herself as her mind came up with a plan she was not entirely sure Edward would be comfortable with. "I know Alice can come up with some sort of disguise for when he goes out with Bella. That way he won't feel so left out in the whole dual personality thing."

"Fine," Garrett stated coldly. "You come up with a statement you and Edward are comfortable with and we'll post it on the website. I'm sure the press is checking it every minute for an update."

Bella went over to wrap her arms around Garrett's shoulders. "You know, you can be a real son of a bitch sometimes, but you are a great agent. Now can we talk about the release party?"

**/&/**

"See, it's not so bad." Bella stood behind Edward as he looked at his new image in the mirror.

"I kinda like it, but don't you dare tell Alice." He turned around and wrapped his arms around Bella's waist before kissing her forehead.

She ran her hand through his newly blackened locks. "I'm glad this stuff just washes out, but you know you and Alice look so much more alike now."

"Really?" Edward turned back around to reflect at his new appearance.

His crazy bronze mane was now a mess of black. His eyes were now a perfect shade of brown that he had loved so much reflected in his Bella's eyes. His clothes were a little more casual than usual. His dark jeans hung low from his waist and were slightly baggy. His long sleeved black t-shirt layered underneath a short sleeved green one was not his norm, but he felt completely comfortable in the new skin. A pair of black Chucks on his feet completed the new casual Edward.

"We haven't thought of a name for this new persona. You have any ideas?"

Edward grinned as his hands met hers at his waist. "What about Tony? I think it fits. Kinda musician mixed with an X-gamer type of feel."

"So you don't mind if I call you Tony in that moment of bliss?" Bella whispered in his ear before nibbling on his earlobe.

"Only if I can call you Victoria," he retorted.

Bella shook her head from side to side. "That would kinda creep me out. So no moaning Tony all night long."

"Now we are all set, where will Tony and Bella be spending their first night out together?"

"I know this little place. They have the best lobster. It's a really casual mom and pop sort of place. You game?"

"Sounds perfect."

**/&/**

"Just melts in your mouth, right?"

"Once again, you are right," Edward said as he reached over to pull Bella's hand to his lips. "How is it that you found this place anyway?"

"It's one of the only things I can remember about my freshman year in college. Some friends brought me here a couple of times." Bella found herself deep in thought as she placed another mouthful of lobster in her mouth.

She remembered how much fun she had with a couple of girlfriends having a night out. That was all before James. She brought him there a few times, but it wasn't like it was with the girls.

"What are you thinking so hard about, love?"

"Just how so much changed when I started seeing James."

"You've kinda avoided talking about seeing him again. I know it must of upset you. Can we talk about it?" Edward tried to rub reassuring circles with his thumb on the top of her hand.

"Everything is just so different with you. I mean he was sweet in the beginning and I think that's what really freaked me out the other day. He looked just like he did when I met him, like not a day had passed." She sighed before poking her fork around her plate.

"Any old feelings come up?" Edward had never considered that she felt anything but disgust for James. He was beginning to understand that she actually was in love with him for a time.

"One's that made me want to vomit. It wasn't like he was ever abusive or anything. He never beat me or treated me with anything other than what I thought was love. His addiction was too much though. The drugs meant more. So he got his fix while his dealer took a piece of me." A single tear ran down her cheek at the foggy memories.

"Closure," Edward uttered.

"What?" Bella sniffled a little as her eyes turned to Edward's.

"You left things so open ended. You just left and got into rehab. You never had closure. I understand cause I never had it with Kate either."

That was the first time that Edward had ever said her name in front of her. Alice had given Bella the down and dirty version, but Edward always just said his ex whenever the subject came up.

"Do you think we both need it to really move on?" Bella wasn't sure about confronting James, but she felt that working for Laurent was probably a good sign.

"Maybe we should, but let's not worry about it until after the new year. We only have a week until the release and the article in Entertainment Weekly coming out this week. First things first."

Bella smiled as Edward's new eyes caught a hold of hers. "I think I like this Tony guy. He's pretty smart."

"Tony has big plans for dessert." Edward smirked at Bella.

"Show me what you're made of, Tony."

"My little vixen tonight, are we?"

"You bet your ass." Bella smiled and licked her lips.

Bella got the check and they quickly made their way out to her car. Edward took the keys from Bella before tucking her into the passengers seat. He ran around to the drivers side and they headed back to Bella's place.

A blue sedan pulled out of the parking lot seconds after Edward and Bella did. Kate followed them until Edward pulled into the garage of a house not two miles from Alice and Jasper's.

She parked across the street a few houses down as she saw various lights go on and off throughout the house.

"I'm so confused," Kate muttered to herself.

She had no idea what was going on. She knew Edward was certainly with the auburn beauty from the other day. It was obvious to anyone who saw them. When she saw Edward with the new hair and the brunette on his arm, she thought he might be cheating on his other girl. Then when she took a really good look at the brunette through her telescopic binoculars, she could see the two women were one in the same.

Kate knew by the looks of it the two were settled in for the night. She wrote down the address of the house and headed home to find out all she could about it's owner.

**/&/**

"This is my favorite part. Listen. Listen" Alice cleared her throat as Bella and Edward cuddled on the couch, shaking their heads at Alice's enthusiasm towards the article.

"As our afternoon came to an end, Victoria relayed that after several years as a successful single, she indeed had a new flame. She assured me it was new but they were incredibly happy. Only days later, a statement was released on her website identifying her new flame as none other than Edward Cullen.

The name Cullen might sound familiar to you if you've ever studied music, fashion, or had a heart attack. Edward has been a successful pianist and composer ranked among the greatest artists in his profession. Sister, Alice Cullen, and step-sister, Rosalie Hale, are the brilliant minds behind the hottest new fashion magazine, "Temptations". The two Cullen siblings are the children of world renowned cardiologist, Carlisle Cullen. Seems like Victoria has settled in just fine with this famous family and this reporter believes we will be seeing Edward and Victoria for years to come."

Alice let out a giddy giggle as she melted into the chair across from the lovebirds.

"I don't think we could have asked for a better article. I think this Greg guy might have a little thing for you as well. Should I be worried?" Edward kissed Bella's neck as she snuggled back into him.

"Not in the slightest. I am all yours." Bella pulled Edward's arms tighter around her chest as she closed her eyes.

"Just promise me one thing?" Alice questioned. "Just don't elope. It would kill me if I didn't have a chance to plan the wedding."

Bella shot up and turned around to look at Edward. His expression clearly read he was as shocked as she was.

"Is there something you haven't told me?" Bella was by no means fishing for a proposal, but if he was planning something she certainly wanted to know.

"Ali," Edward turned to his darling sister. "I promise you will know when it happens, but Bella and I haven't really even discussed marriage, have we?" He turned back to Bella.

"No, not really." Bella straightened herself up on the couch.

Edward could hear the disappointment in her voice, but knew marriage was not their most immediate concern.

"Love, I know we haven't talked about it and things are really kind of confusing right now. I know I never want to be with anyone other than you for the rest of my life. I think it's one of the few things I am certain of right now. I fear until I'm further in my treatment and you've gotten at least another manuscript under your belt, it's not something we should be jumping into."

Bella turned to see the sincerity in Edward's face. "I know you're right. Maybe we could take it one step further though."

Edward pulled her in further as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "And what would that step be?"

"Move in with me."

Alice practically choked on the handful of popcorn she had just popped in her mouth.

Edward turned to Alice as she cleared her mouth of the offensive popcorn.

"So it's okay for us to run down the aisle, Ali, but not move in together?" Edward questioned as Bella handed Alice a bottle of water.

"No, no... That's not what I meant." Alice coughed a couple times before taking a swig of water. "Bella just seemed so blunt about it. It wasn't even a question."

"That's because she knew I'd say yes."

Bella turned to him with a sweet smile as her brown pools watered up. "Okay then. It's gonna have to be soon though. You think we can pull it off?"

"I think it can be arranged." Edward pulled her away from Alice's side and into his arms. "Just remember when you tell your dad and Emmett I'm moving in that it was all your idea."

"Oh," Bella pouted her lips. "Is my big strong man afraid of my family?"

"Hell ya. They have guns and know how to use them. Em already told me he could hide my body where no one could find it."

Bella laid her head on his chest as he rested his chin on top of her hair. "You're safe with me. Always."

**/&/**

The article turned out to be a huge success. The pictures were showing up all over the place in one version or another. Bella was sure that Laurent was becoming a very rich man.

Anytime Victoria was spotted, the press went wild. Thus, Bella and Tony were finding a way to comfortably fit together.

Alice was happy with Tony's look, saying Tony looked more like her than Edward ever had.

Tony and Bella found themselves visiting all the quaint out of the way places in Seattle and falling more in love every day.

They decided to redecorate the house a little before the move which led them to an little antique shop. They had to call Emmett down with his truck to help them hall everything home. A new nightstand for their bedroom and a wrought iron king bed plus the huge leather chair filled the entire truck bed.

Edward was happy when they found the bed because that meant mattress shopping. He and Bella spent two hours testing out as many mattresses as they could while acting like two horny teenagers. The employees seemed used to that type of behavior. An older lady even smiled and laughed it off as an everyday occurrence. They settled on a king pillow top mattress. Edward loved the thought of so many mornings curled up together in it's heavenly goodness. While Bella was momentarily distracted by the older lady, Edward paid for the mattress and arranged for it to be delivered that afternoon.

Edward was completely moved in just two days before the book's release. It felt like Alice, Rose, and Jessica had moved in also because they were all there twenty-four seven preparing the two of them for their big coming out party.

The night of the release party, Alice had dressed Edward in a black Armani suit and a deep royal blue dress shirt. Bella, in full Victoria regalia, wore a black evening gown with one strap over her shoulder with crystal beading throughout the entire gown. Edward was blown away as she took him in her arms.

"You're dazzling." He kissed along her jaw before making his way to her soft, moist lips.

"I could say the same thing about you." She pulled away from him, taking in his splendor.

"How long do we have to be at this thing? I'm not sure I won't just rip that right off of you."

Bella leaned in and kissed him again before grabbing her cloak. "It'll be a lot of kissing butt to the publishers and some retailers. Then there will be a bunch of fan club members that I'll be signing autographs for. We will be back in bed doing unspeakable things by midnight." She raised her brow to him as she reached for the front door.

Edward lead Bella down the front walk to their awaiting limo.

Within fifteen minutes, they had settled into the comfortable atmosphere in the hotel ballroom. Hundreds of people milling around, throwing their congratulations left and right, even though none of them had even read the book yet.

"I would like to take a moment to recognize why we're all here tonight. It's not just for the free food and booze. It's for a woman who's talent has captivated so many of us over the past five years. Ladies and gentleman, it is my great honor to introduce the creator of Sarah Scott. The one, the only, Miss Victoria Lane."

The crowd erupted in a large round of applause as Bella left Edward's side to go to the stage. She gave Garrett a hug before taking the microphone from him.

"Thank you all so much for coming to celebrate yet another milestone with me tonight. It means more than I can ever say that you all have been so supportive over the years. With this novel," Jessica handed her a hard backed copy of her newest book. "You will find Sarah in one of the toughest situations she's ever faced. If you have been living under a rock, you might not know that it is entitled 'Back at the Beginning'. It's not exactly what I had planned for the series originally, but I believe it helps the readers find out so much more about Sarah. Things that fans have been hounding me for years will come to light. Not everything though. I still plan on two more novels in this series, so enjoy Sarah's turmoils and look forward to a few more. Thank you."

Bella handed the microphone off as the crowd once again applauded her. She went into her big brother's awaiting arms.

"I'm so proud of you, sis. You've done us all so proud."

"Thanks, Em. I love you so much for coming. It means more than you'll ever know."

Emmett pulled his sister into his tight embrace as he stroked his huge hand up and down her back as a few tears stained his jacket.

"I can't fucking believe it." A whisper from beside Laurent drew his attention away from where Bella was standing across the room.

"What is it, James?" Laurent looked to his friend for an answer.

"That is the fucking cop that arrested me and broke my arm."

Laurent looked over to the burly man hugging Victoria then back to James. "I thought you said that cop was Bella's brother?"

"Ya, he is. That's why Victoria seemed so familiar." James pulled Laurent closer to whisper. "Victoria is Bella."

Laurent shook his head from side to side. "Your fucked now, man. There is no way you'd get anywhere close to her now. Especially if her brother sees you."

"You gotta help me. You know that Cullen jerk off won't let me anywhere near me. You're my only hope," James pleaded.

"Fine, we'll think of something. We better get out of here though before that cop brother of hers breaks your other arm."

**/&/**

Two hours later, Bella was making her way out of a small room off the ballroom where she had met with a few of her fan club organizers. She was anxious to make it back to Edward and begin working on some unspeakable things when she was tapped on the shoulder.

"Miss Lane?"

"Yes?" She turned to meet the brilliant blue eyes of the most muscular man she'd ever seen outside of her own brother.

"I was wondering if I could have a private word." He pulled a something from his jacket pocket. "Riley Parker, FBI."

"Of course, Agent Parker," Bella let out after examining his badge. "What is this about?"

"If you'd just step in here with me for a minute."

"Yes." Being confused and a little freaked out didn't stop Bella from entering another room to find a tall blond waiting for them.

"I'll take it from here, Riley."

Riley nodded and shut the door behind Bella leaving the two women alone.

"I don't know what this is about, but I have a sinking feeling I'm not going to like it." Bella crossed her arms across her chest.

"I just have a few pictures I'd like to show you." The blond handed Bella a folder with several photos out of it.

Bella went through the folder to find several pictures of her and "Tony" from all over the city.

Bella felt her throat go dry as she tried to swallow.

"I know all about you, Miss Swan." The blond pulled out another folder as she sat at a nearby table. "Born in Forks, Washington to Charles and Renee Swan. One brother, Emmett Swan of the SPD. After graduating from Forks High School you entered The University of Washington as an English major. You met one James Camp shortly there after. That May, Mr. Camp was arrested for possession of an illegal substance and it seems that you spent the remainder of the summer as an inpatient at Seattle Recovery Center. A year later, you released your first novel under your pen name, Victoria Lane. After graduating UW, you bought a nice three bedroom, three bath house and settled in Seattle. Which brings us to this past October when you started dating one Edward Cullen." She drew out every syllable of Edward's name.

Bella shook her head in slight realization. "That's what this about? This is about Edward?"

The blond sat deep in thought as she closed Bella's file. "Yes, this is about Edward." She stood up and took the photos from Bella's grasp. "And if you want to keep Victoria Lane and Isabella Swan two separate people, you will help me."

"Why in the world would I help you? I don't even know who you are."

The blond pulled out a black leather badge and handed it to Bella. "I'm Kate Denali."

Bella shoved Kate's badge back in her chest. "I really don't give a flying fuck if you are FBI. If you think you can blackmail me into leaving Edward, you picked the wrong girl." Bella turned to leave, but Kate grabbed her wrist in desperation.

"Bella, please."

Bella turned and ripped her hand from Kate's grasp, infuriated at this point. "Please, what? Let you try to blackmail me into giving up the best thing in my life? What? Just so he can take you back? The woman that broke his heart in a million pieces, not to mention ruining his beautiful hand?"

Bella stood waiting for an answer as Kate tried to compose herself as not to set Bella off again.

"I don't want Edward back."

"Really?" Bella looked at her unconvinced.

"I see how happy he is with you. We never seemed to have that." Kate filtered her fingers through her hair as she took a deep breath. "I just never got to tell him I'm sorry. I need a chance to make it up to him. Can you just get him to talk to me?"

Bella squeezed her eyes shut. She had no idea if Kate was telling the truth or not. She knew Edward wanted to make amends, but she still wasn't sure of Kate's intentions. She trusted Edward implicitly, but Kate was a different story. FBI agents practically lied for a living, at least all the ones she knew. Was Kate any different?

"You got a card or something?" Bella gritted through her teeth.

"Sure." Kate pulled her card from her pocket and handed it to Bella.

Bella looked it over then turned her scowl back to Kate. "I'm not making you any promises. Edward is his own man." She looked Kate over as she swallowed her disgust. "I'll be in touch."

With that, Bella turned on her heal and headed out the door.

Kate slumped down in her chair praying that this time she hadn't gone too far.


	8. Remembering the Present

Chapter 8 Remembering the Present

**A/N: WARNING! Extremely graphic sexual situations in this chapter. NOT A LEMON! Read on with caution.**

Bella played her part the rest of the evening until she and Edward had gotten home. Millions of scenarios of how she could bring up the whole Kate situation came to mind. Once she had slipped out of her Victoria garb and saw an eager Edward waiting in their bed, she knew the truth was the only way to go.

"We have to talk." Bella inched her way to the side of the bed in only her bra and panties.

"We can talk during and after. I need you." Edward pulled her into bed next to him. "You promised." He stuck out his bottom lip which made her reconsider her course, but only for a second.

"If you still want to after we talk, then we will. I'm afraid you won't want to though." Bella swept a strand of loose hair behind her ear before bringing her eyes to his.

"It can't be that bad. Can it?" He pulled her to sit cross legged in front of him while he held both of her hands in his.

"After I met with the fan club I was approached by an FBI agent then was taken to another room." Edward's eyes went wide as his jaw went slack.

"She didn't?"

"She did." Bella bit at her bottom lip uncomfortably as she choose her words carefully. "Kate introduced herself, then proceeded to tell me she knew all about the two of us and the fact that I was actually Bella Swan. She even had some surveillance photos of us."

Edward laid back on the bed against the wall, dragging his fingers furiously through his even more disheveled hair. "What did she want?"

"What she told me was she just wanted a chance to talk to you. She implied that I make you talk or somehow she would make sure I was exposed." Bella got up and went over to her purse to retrieve Kate's card. "She told me to give you this." She handed it to him as she sat down.

Edward carefully examined the card with the Seattle number on it. He was sure she would have left the city by now. He thought he was the only thing keeping her there. Now, maybe it was that Riley guy he caught her screwing.

"I've got that conference in LA this weekend. Why don't you skip it. Stay here and deal with her."

"I guess that's best." Edward's eyes fell to his lap. "I can take Jasper with me for backup."

"Really? You don't mind if I'm not around?" She scooted in a little closer before taking his hand.

He brought his eyes up to meet hers. "I know we need to take care of this sooner or later. This convention is important and I really don't want you to see me if this goes badly."

"I'll just be a phone call away. I'll make sure to have my cell with me or Jess at all times."

"Come here, love."

Bella scooted over and was enveloped in Edward's warm embrace. They laid down and nestled against each other as sleep over took them.

**/&/**

Kate's heartbeat doubled when she pulled into the parking space next to the shiny, silver Volvo. She began to have tunnel vision. All she could she was walking into the diner and sitting down with the man she still loved.

As she reached for the front door, she felt a hand at her wrist preventing her from entering.

"I think we should have a word before you go any further."

She turned to see the steally blue eyes of the man she almost thought could be her brother.

"Jasper."

"Kate."

"He's having you scope me out before I go in there? You're still doing his dirty work, I see." First, he practically had Jasper dump her for him. Then, he had Jasper move all her stuff out of their apartment. Now he's sending Jasper to see what her true intentions were.

"I thought by now you would have realized that it was all my idea to get you're whoring ass out of my brother's apartment." Jasper stood firm with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I really don't have time for any of your shit, Jasper." Kate rolled her eyes before crossing her own arms in front of her.

"Oh, I know what a busy woman you are. You forget my dear Kate, I have friends in high places too."

Kate dropped her hands to her sides and gulped. She had known that Jasper was well connected, but the look in his eyes implied much more than it ever did in the past.

"Edward has been to hell and back a couple of times since the last time you saw each other. Now that he has Bella back in his life, he's finally happy. I'll be damned to let you and your badge waltz in here threatening to fuck up his life again." Jasper reached out and put her hand on her shoulder. "Just think of it this way, you screw my brother over one more time, I'll make you're life a fucking nightmare. This time, Edward will gladly let me do it. Am I clear?"

"Crystal, as always, Jasper." Her voice trembled as his hand made it's way down her arm and back to his side.

Jasper motioned that it was acceptable for her to enter at that point. She swallowed all her fear and entered the diner to find Edward seated in a booth with his back to her.

"Hello, Edward." Kate pushed her hair back behind her shoulder as Edward motioned for her to sit across from him. "How have you been?"

"Cut the shit, Kate. I'm here. What do you want?" Edward's eyes narrowed as he tried to read every thought running through Kate's mind at that moment.

"I just thought we should talk. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you." Her eyes fell to her hands which were nervously twitching on the table.

"Kate." He let out a long frustrated breath. "I know you know about Victoria and I. I mean Bella and I. It took me a long time to get where I am now. I would hope that you would want me to be happy after everything that happened."

"I do. I'm glad you're happy. I can't help it if I'm a bit jealous though. I mean if I hadn't let Riley in that night we might be married by now." Kate looked up to see his gleaming green orbs. She had really missed spending hours just looking into them.

"If it hadn't been that night, it would have been some other one. Even if I hadn't of found out, if I would have found Bella again, I don't think I could have stayed with you."

"Again? You knew her before?" She had caught on that Jasper had said they had known each other, but in all their time together, Bella had never been mentioned.

"Bella was my first love and my best friend growing up. We lost touch when my family moved out east. Fate brought us back together. If it hadn't been this way, it would have been another."

"You really love her, don't you?" Kate's voice was quite, almost as if she didn't want to know the answer.

"Yes. I really do. I know this is a strange situation with her career and all, but I'd hope, for me, you'd keep this quiet."

Kate looked into Edward's pleading eyes and realized what she needed to do. "Of course. I'm sorry for everything. I hope we can get passed this and be friends."

Edward huffed as he raked his hand through his hair. "I'm not sure about friends, but at least friendly."

She smiled and gave a slight nod.

"So, when are you going to get around to telling me what you really do for the FBI?" Edward raised his eyebrows to her.

**/&/**

Victoria had spent the weekend signing autographs and taking pictures with fans. By the end of the day, she just wanted to find a big screen TV and watch the Seahawks game.

It seemed unnatural for a woman like Bella to be a football fan, but living with Charlie and Emmett all those years, it was inevitable.

Bella got out of her Victoria persona and slipped back into herself. She walked down to the hotel bar and found herself a comfy chair to lounge in while watching the game.

"Hello, miss. I'm Tyler. Is there anything I can get you this evening?"

"Can you put the Seahawks gave on for me?"

"Of course. Can I get you anything to eat or drink while you watch?"

"Oooo, some pretzels and a Jack and Coke, hold the Jack," Bella laughed. That was always how she ordered her Coke whenever she was at a bar.

"Usually my customers want it the other way around, but what the lady wants, the lady gets."

"It's Bella and if you want a big tip, you'll keep the Coke and pretzels coming all night." She smiled and winked at him.

"Yes, Bella."

As requested, Tyler kept the snacks and drinks coming throughout the first half. She was able to cheer without fear of retaliation from any Raiders fans, the bar was practically deserted.

The beginning of the second half started with another Seahawks touchdown. Bella jumped up and down while doing her little happy dance.

"Not a Raiders fan, I see."

Her face turned cherry red at the deep voice emanating from behind her. She turned to see the huge man who was dark everywhere. Dark hair. Dark skin. Luscious, deep, dark eyes.

_Edward. Edward. Edward._ She mentally slapped herself at her immediate attraction to the stranger before her.

"I'm from Seattle, soooo..."

"I see. Mind if I watch with you? See if my Raiders can pull themselves out."

"Su-sure," she stuttered before he took off his jacket and sunk into the chair beside her.

"I'm Jake, by the way." He stuck out his hand to shake it.

"Bella," she responded while shaking his enormous, soft hand.

"I didn't happen to see you wandering around at the convention center today, did I?"

"Yep, I was there a little this morning. Work related." Bella had taken the chance to blend in with all the fans as herself. Also, she wanted to see the panel discussion with the cast of "Lost". She felt almost faint as Matthew Fox signed an autograph for her.

"What is it you do, Bella?" Jake asked as he sipped on his drink.

Bella pulled out the normal cover story. "You know the author, Victoria Lane?"

"Sure," he nodded. "The Sarah Scott stories."

"That's the one. I'm like her assistant. I try to fade back, but I guess sometimes people tend to notice me."

"I sure noticed you." Jake smirked as his dark eyes roamed over every inch of Bella causing another round of blushing.

They watched the rest of the game and kept up a comfortable conversation throughout.

Bella rejoiced as her precious Seahawks kicked a field goal as the clocked ticked down to win the game.

"Yes! Ha, in your face." Bella raised her hands in the air and tapped her feet ferociously on the floor.

"All right. I admit they played a pretty good game." Jake scooted up in his seat and placed his hand on Bella's knee. "Let's say we celebrate this little victory upstairs." He ran his long dark finger up and down Bella's thigh.

At that moment, she realized she hadn't breathed a word about Edward and the fact that she was very taken. Plus, every single word of their conversation could have been construed as shameless flirting instead of just football fun.

"As nice as that may sound," Bella stood up slowly then immediately sat back down, catching her breath.

"Bella, are you alright?" Jake grabbed her hand with one of his and stroked her cheek with the other.

"I must just be tired." Bella stood again, almost calapsing into Jake's arms.

"Come on, give me your key and I'll help you up to your room."

Bella dug her key card out of her pocket along with a wad of cash. She threw the cash down to fulfill her tab as she grabbed onto Jake's arm.

Jake took her key as he led her out of the bar.

Suddenly, Bella could hardly keep her eyes open. All the sounds around her became muffled and her head was all fuzzy. She could feel Jake at her side, but she felt like her feet weren't even touching the ground.

She heard a few muffled dings and assumed they were near the elevators, when she felt another hand on her other arm.

She heard Jake raise his voice with the man who was trying to pull her away from him. She could only slump against Jake, as he was the only thing she was sure of at that moment.

She felt the other arm ripped from her then she was rushed into the elevator.

It was seconds, minutes, or hours, she couldn't tell, but she heard a buzzing noise just before she felt her back pressed against the back of the elevator.

She felt hot breath on her neck as her leg was lifted over Jake's hip. His searing lips left open mouthed kisses up and down the column of her neck. She couldn't understand why she wasn't pushing him away. She tried to lift her arms, but they felt as though they were made of stone.

She felt her heart start to race as she came to the realization there was nothing she could do to stop what was happening. She felt the soft hands at her waistband, pulling her jeans and underwear down, one leg being taken completely out.

She felt a sheathed hardness swipe between her legs. She could feel the tears slowly dripping down her cheeks. At that moment of hopelessness, she was at least grateful for that thin layer of latex between them.

He thrust into her, fast and deep. She felt her bare behind dig into the elevator wall. She felt his hands roughly pulling on her breast. His hot breath flowing in and out of her mouth.

She wished with everything she had she could just make herself vomit at that point, making him stop. No such luck. He just kept thrusting, harder and faster. Humming words into her ear she couldn't understand.

Then, she felt herself being completely lifted off the floor, his hands holding steady on her hips. With a few more pulsating thrusts, he was done.

She felt him slip out of her, then replace her underwear and jeans to their original position. The buzzing noise stopped and as soon as she heard a faint ding, she felt herself being lifted into Jake's arms.

She felt Jake walking a short ways then coming to a stop. She felt herself going even more limp. She couldn't even force the tears out anymore. She only knew one thing for sure at that moment, she had been drugged.

She heard a muffled bang then felt herself being laid down on a bed. She silently prayed that he would just leave her there, but then she felt him removing everything from the waist down. Then, he sat her up and removed her sweater and bra before laying her back down.

He was all over her again, except this time, they were both completely naked and she couldn't move a muscle or even make a sound.

His tongue was everywhere. In her mouth. On her neck. Swirling around her nipples. In between her thighs. Then she felt his sheathed hardness thrusting inside her once again. He was hard as a rock and painfully huge. She hoped a repeat performance wouldn't last long, but with her concept of time so skewed, it felt like eternity.

Then, in a flash, he was gone. She didn't think he could have possibly been finished, but there she was lying naked and alone.

Next, she felt something warm being wrapped around her before her panties were slipped back on her. She felt another man's hand stroking her cheek as a tear that was not her own ran down it. At that moment, she knew she was safe and let her body give into the darkness.

**/&/**

James had gathered all his courage and waited for Bella in her hotel lobby. He knew she was in the bar, but didn't feel like that was the place to bump into her again.

He sat for what seemed like hours, strumming his fingers on the arm of the chair before he saw the tall, dark man practically carrying her to the elevator.

He caught up to them in a panic at the elevator.

"Bella," James grabbed on to her arm and she barely move. "What the fuck is going on?"

"She just tired, right Bella?" Bella pulled away from James slightly towards tall, dark, and creepy.

"The hell she is! What did you do to her?"

James was suddenly shoved off Bella and thrown to the floor.

"I'll take care of her," Mr. Creepy yelled.

Before he could get up to the elevator door, it was closed. She was gone.

"Is there something wrong, sir?"

James turned to see a hotel security guard standing behind him.

"Yes! Yes!" James rushed over and grabbed a hold of the man. "That was my girlfriend and that guy just carried her off. She looked drunk or something, but I know she doesn't drink. I have to find her. I think he may hurt her."

"Slow down, sir. What room is your girlfriend staying in?"

James ran his hand over the back of his neck as he threw his head back. "I don't know. She just told me to meet her here. I never got the number."

"Okay, sir, let's go over to the desk and see if we can pull her up on the guest registry."

James walked over to the front desk while giving the guard a description of both Bella and Mr. Creepy.

"Isabella Swan. Check it, please. Or maybe just Bella Swan. Oh, fuck, I don't know." James let out an exasperated sigh. "She travels so much, she uses a bunch of different names."

"I'm sorry, sir," the redheaded woman behind the desk apologized. "No Swan."

James threw his head back again as he racked his brain for a hundred different possibilities.

"Try Cullen. Either Isabella or Bella."

The redhead check again while the security guard continued to chat on his walkie talkie.

"Yes, there's a Bella Cullen in 1309."

James took off sprinting and caught the elevator before the security guard could stop him.

He got to the room and broke down the door with a forceful kick.

He entered to find a naked Mr. Creepy thrusting into his precious Bella.

He ripped him off of her with every ounce of strength he had. James sent him flying across the room then punched him square in the jaw.

James grabbed Bella's panties and a robe. He tucked the robe around her and slid her panties on. He hadn't realized that he was crying until he saw a tear fall on her cheek. He brought his hand up to wipe it away.

"Bella, baby. I'm so sorry."

At that moment, three security guards rushed in. James turned to see only them. Mr. Creepy was gone.

"Sir, what happened?"

"He was raping her. I came in and threw him off. I think he must have drugged her. Please call an ambulance." James sobbed out each word.

He heard the guards conversing on their radios as he brought his lips to her hand that was tightly clasped in his.

"I should've just come into the bar. If I had, maybe... God, Bella, I'm so fucking sorry."

**/&/**

Bella's eyes fluttered open as she became aware of yet another beeping noise and the feel of someone's hand on hers.

"Bella. Oh, thank God you're awake."

She turned her head to the direction the voice was coming from. She slowly opened and closed her eyes as the room around her suddenly came into focus.

Then, there they were. Those crystal blue eyes she had once found so comforting.

"James? What's going on?" Her voice was barely a whisper, her body stiff and unmoving.

"I saw you int the lobby of your hotel. I tried to stop him. I swear I tried. But when I got to the room, it was-"

"Too late," she cut him off.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Bella." He brought her hand up to his lips as more tears flowed from his eyes.

"It's was you who tried to stop us at the elevator?"

"Yes, I tried, but that guy was a behemoth."

Bella rolled her head back to stare at the ceiling. She realized she was in yet another hospital. She had done her best to avoid them at all costs since her stint in rehab, but she knew this was a must situation.

"Have you called my family?"

"No, I really didn't think that was the best idea considering my last run in with your brother. The doctor said you would wake up soon, so I've just been waiting. Bella, you know if I could have stopped him, I would."

Bella turned back to see the tears in his eyes. The face of the man she once loved staring back at her.

"I know. You seem different now... Better."

"I am. I cleaned myself up, Bells. Been sober for over four years. I've got a great job. I was actually in town for that big convention. I'd been waiting for my boss in the lobby when I saw you."

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them to meet his. "I'm glad you were there. I'm sure it would have been much worse if you hadn't gotten to me when you did."

"I wish I had stopped it all together." James lowered his forehead to rest against his hand that was still around Bella's.

"It's over. It's just... over." Bella brought her free hand to wipe a tear from her cheek before giving James a weak smile.


	9. Complications

Chapter 9 Complications

Bella sat while a parade of doctors, nurses, and police personnel fluttered in and out of her room. She vaguely remembered the doctor telling her she would need to be observed until they thought the drugs had fully left her system.

Bella was moved to a private room while James went to get the two of them some breakfast. Bella curled up in her bed and drew the covers up to her chin. It was the first moment she was actually able to process the events that had taken place since kickoff the night before.

_Jake_. She felt disgusted even thinking the name. He was so nice and handsome. He reminded her so much of her friend, Seth, who lived on the reservation back in La Push. She prayed seeing Seth at Christmas wouldn't trigger something awful.

_Christmas. _Just a few days and she would be spending Christmas at her father's house. This year the party was even bigger with the addition of the Cullens and the Hales. All of her father's friends would be there, including Seth and his family. She knew she had to get a grip on the images in her head before seeing him again. They were always close, so she thought about talking to him before they actually met up on Christmas day.

That brought her back to the thought of telling Edward. She almost thought it would be harder telling him about the rape than the rape itself. She knew she had to wait until she got home to tell him. He would be waiting to pick her up at the airport. He would hug her and kiss her, lavish all sorts of affection on her. She couldn't imagine how she would handle it. Re-telling her story to the doctors and the police had been one thing. The drugs had made her pretty numb. But when she got to the point of telling Edward, her mind would be crystal clear. She would really have to feel what happened for the first time.

She felt a soft tap at her shoulder. She turned to look over her shoulder slowly. There Jessica stood with tear stained cheeks and puffy, red eyes.

Bella just took her hand and pulled her friend down into the bed next to her. Jessica spooned up against her dearest friend and gently ran her fingers through her hair.

"I know what I'm saying right now might seem like absolute shit, but you're gonna get through this Bella. You are one of the strongest people I know and I'm gonna be right here for you every step of the way." Jessica sniffled as she started to rub Bella's upper arm.

"Thanks, Jess." Bella laced her fingers through those of her friends. "Did you tell Garrett?"

"No. I just told him we'd talk when we got back. I changed our flight to later this evening. The doctors said you'd be ready to go after lunch. I've got our stuff already packed in the rental car downstairs. We can go straight to the airport when they let you out."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Jess. Thanks." Bella squeezed Jessica's hand as she heard a knock followed by someone entering the room.

"I got the blueberry one's. I hope you still like them." James saw Bella and Jessica turn over in the bed towards him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. I knew Bella would be hungry."

"No, James. It's fine." She and Jessica sat up in the bed. "James, this is Jessica. Jess, this is James."

Jessica held her hand out to shake it. "Yes, I think we've met before at the photo shoot for Victoria Lane. You're her editor right?"

"That and many other things. Bella is Victoria's assistant, did she tell you?"

"She might have mentioned it, but she hasn't been totally coherent." James sat down in the chair next to the bed as he set the food and drinks he had brought on the bedside table.

"I guess we all owe you a big thanks for getting to Bella when you did."

"I could tell there was something wrong. Even after not seeing her for all these years, I knew something was off." He looked to Bella and smiled. She gave what she could of a weak smile back.

Bella's phone started to vibrate on the bedside table. Jessica picked it up to look at the caller ID. "It's, uh... Tony."

Bella took the phone and tried to compose her thoughts. "Hello."

"Hey, gorgeous. Have you guys boarded yet?"

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to call. Jess and I are taking a flight later this evening."

Edward could hear the wavering in her voice. Something was off.

"What's wrong? You seem upset."

"I wasn't feeling well, so I'm at the hospital right now. It must have been something I drank or ate. The doctor said I could be released in a couple of hours. Jess is taking me to the airport from here." She concentrated on playing with the ends of her hair so she wouldn't lose her resolve.

"Oh, baby. I'm sorry I'm not there with you."

She started to feel herself crumble. "I wish you were here, too. I..." she hiccuped. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too. I'll have all your favorites waiting for you when you get home. You are taking it easy for the next few days. No questions, alright?"

Bella shook her head before smiling. "Alright. I'll call you when I find out when we'll be landing."

"I'll be waiting. I love you, my Isabella."

"I love you, too." With that, she ended her call and collapsed into Jessica's arms. "I hate that I lied to him."

"Don't worry, sweetie. He'll understand." Jessica turned to see a confused look on James' face. "Tony is Bella's boyfriend."

"I see." James nodded, confused as hell.

He knew Bella was dating that Cullen guy. He had seen them together at her release party. He wondered who the hell this Tony person was.

"James, I'm sorry about all this." Bella pulled herself from Jessica's arms. "I really am grateful for everything you've done. Maybe we can get together and talk in a couple of weeks, but right now I just don't think I can deal with all of this."

"I understand." James stood and pulled out a card from his pocket, placing it on her bedside table. "My cell number is on here. Just give me a call, night or day. I owe you that much, Bells."

"Thanks."

James leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Bella's forehead. He pulled back to look in her eyes as he lifted her chin up with his index finger. "Anytime, Bella. I mean it."

"Okay." She smiled a little bigger for James before he left her room.

**/&/**

Edward waited anxiously at the baggage claim area. Bella's flight had already landed, but she and Jessica were still no where to be seen.

He ran his fingers nervously through his blackened hair. He felt more than a little uncomfortable donning his Tony persona at one am in the middle of the SeaTac airport. His contacts were bothering him and he hadn't brought any solution with him. He decided he would take them out as soon as they reached the car.

He was brought out of his discomfort and sunk to a whole new one when he saw Bella and Jessica approach him.

Jessica's arm was tightly wrapped around Bella's shoulders as if she was willing her to take each step. Bella's hair was pulled back at the nape of her neck with a few tendrils framing her face. Her face was paler than usual. She most certainly looked as if she had been put through the ringer. Edward realized it was defiantly not food poisoning that had his Bella looking that way. She was hiding something from him. The evidence presented itself when her eyes met his and she brought her hand up to stroke her own cheek.

He took her hands in his as Jessica removed her arm and stepped back.

"You two talk. I'm going to get the bags."

"Thanks, Jess." Bella hung her head unable to look at Edward's pained face.

"I know I might not be able to decipher everything in your voice over the phone, but Bella... I know this is not just food poisoning. Please, baby. Tell me what happened." Edward lifted her chin softly with his index finger.

Bella squeezed Edward's hand in hers. She took a deep breath, but couldn't lift her eyes to his. "I was... attacked." She blew out a deep breath.

Edward slowly pulled her into his arms as her breath stuck in her throat. He knew at that moment, those three words were all she could give him. Hundreds of scenarios rushed through his mind, but he knew for the time being he would have to leave it alone.

The next moment, Jessica had come over with their bags loaded on a cart. The three of them silently made it out to the parking lot and to Edward's Volvo. Edward packed the bags in the back while Jessica put Bella in the front seat.

"You need anything, you just call, alright?" Bella nodded as Jessica threaded her fingers through Bella's hair before cupping her cheek. "I'll take care of Garrett and everything. Don't worry for one second. Just take care of yourself. Let Edward take care of you."

Bella looked into Jessica's eyes seeing all the love and sincerity a best friend could give. "I will. I promise."

Bella scooted back in her seat before Jessica shut the door.

Jessica went around to the back of the car as Edward had finished loading everything up. She ran her hand up and down his back before he pulled her into a hug.

"She's gonna need you now more than ever. She might need more than you can give her, but promise me you won't give up on her."

Edward pulled back to look at Jessica. "She's my life. She's stuck with me no matter what."

"Good. Call me tomorrow and tell me how she's doing."

"I will."

Jessica took the cart that had her bags still on it and made her way to her car.

Edward slipped in the driver's seat and started home.

"Whenever you're ready to talk..."

"I think I should wait until we get home. I'd really hate to get into a wreck on top of everything else." Bella smiled weakly as Edward glanced over to her.

They arrived home. Bella went to change as Edward brought the bags inside.

He knocked on their bedroom door before entering.

Bella was sitting in a light blue tank top and blue plaid lounge pants on their bed. Edward sunk into the mattress beside her.

She took a deep breath and gathered her hand in his. "Let me get it all out, no interruptions. Okay?"

"Whatever you need."

Bella's grip on his hand tightened as she began.

"I was watching the game in the hotel bar. Around the beginning of the third quarter, a guy asked if he could join me. I really didn't see any harm. He seemed nice enough. We bantered back and forth through the rest of the game. Then when I was getting up to leave, I felt really dizzy. Within a minute, everything went fuzzy. He was taking me towards the elevators to help me to my room, I assumed. Then I could tell he was arguing with someone before we got on the elevator. He pushed the man away and pulled me in. The next thing I knew, the elevator had stopped and he was all over me. I could hardly stand let alone stop him. That's when he raped me the first time."

"The first time?" Edward was thrust into an indescribable amount of agony. His beautiful Bella, violated. After everything she had already been through, now this.

"When he was... done. He carried me back to my room. That's when it happened again. The weird thing was, he wasn't forceful. He took his time. It was like he knew what kind of effect the drugs would have and he wasn't rushing anything. I have no idea how long it was, but before he could finish again, he was pulled off of me. Then someone wrapped me up in a robe. Next thing I knew, I was lying in the emergency room."

"Someone found you? They got the son of a bitch?"

"No, he ended up running off before security or the police got there. I later found out it was the man who tried to stop us at the elevator. You won't believe it, but it was James who found me."

"James?" The name seethed through his teeth.

"Yeah, small word. He was with Laurent at the convention and he saw me in the lobby. He ended up finding what room I was in and rushed up there. Who knows what would of happened if he hadn't of found me."

Edward was trying his hardest to process everything without exploding. Bella had been raped, twice. Then she was saved by her crack addict ex-boyfriend. He really didn't know how he was supposed to react to all of it. Then he realized, it wasn't about him. It was all about her. What ever she needed from him, he would provide.

"The police got some DNA from a condom he'd used, so that with my description and the video from the elevator, they think they have a pretty good case. They just have to find him."

"Do they think there's a chance of that?"

"He wasn't your average type of guy. He'd stand out in a crowd. They know what they're looking for."

He could tell she didn't want to go any farther with her story than that. She seemed drained, but had no emotion. Her voice was completely flat with not the slightest bit of inflection. His Bella's spark was gone.

"You need some rest. Do you want me to sleep with you? I can understand if-"

"I want you to stay."

He brought her chin up so her eyes met his. "I love you. We'll figure out what to do."

"I don't even want to think about telling my dad or Emmett, let alone everyone else."

"Let's just get some sleep and we'll think about it when we have to. Come on."

Edward pulled back the covers and Bella slipped under. He stripped down to his boxers before climbing in next to her.

Before he could get the chance to say it, she said it for him. "I love you."

"Love you, too. Sleep, my love."

With that she closed her eyes and tried not to think at all as Edward hummed her to sleep.

**/&/**

Bella woke suddenly in the night, drenched in a sweat, her breathing shallow and uneven. She turned to see Edward soundly sleeping beside her. She knew after her nightmare she would no longer be able to sleep. She slipped from the bed without Edward noticing and made her way out to the kitchen.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, her brain banging against the base of her skull. She needed something, she needed to stop the adrenaline pumping through her veins. She begged for the numbness to find her.

She dug through all her cabinets, through her refrigerator, and finally through her pantry until she found them. Two bottles of red wine she had been given when she finished her second book. She had been saving them for that rare, special occasion. She had never planned on ever drinking them herself, but she knew at that moment it was the only thing that would stop the world from spinning.

She tore through her kitchen drawers to find the cork screw. She unscrewed the first bottle and brought it to her lips instantly. She had forgotten the feel of it's velvety softness running down the back of her throat. Within moments, the bottle was half emptied.

She felt a slight buzz coming on and was in desperate need of more. She took the bottle with her into the living room and settled on the couch. She pounded back one mouthful after another until the bottle was finally emptied. She set the bottle down on the table before bringing both of her hands to the sides of her face. She was light headed and dizzy. The exact feeling she was hoping to achieve. Even after five years, she knew what would happen next. She craved it, she begged it to come. She laid back on the couch and let the old feelings over take her. It then hit her full force. Euphoria surged through her whole body before she came to rest, embracing the blackness.

**/&/**

Edward awoke to the feeling of emptiness as he searched for Bella beside him. He sat up and looked towards the bathroom. The door was open and the lights were off. He crawled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen.

He saw the wake of Bella's frantic search. Their once perfectly organized kitchen in total disarray. That was when he noticed the bottle of wine with the corkscrew lying next to it.

He rushed to the living room, finding Bella passed out on their couch. He found the empty bottle on the table and realized how their entire world had come crashing down on them in just a matter of days.

He knelt down next to her, caressing her face. Her cheek arched to his touch as a soft smile played upon her lips. Yet she didn't wake.

Edward quietly made his way back to their bedroom where he retrieved Bella's cell phone. He scrolled through her phone book until he found the number he needed.

His thoughts raced as the phone started to ring on the other end.

"_Hello?"_ The woman's voice was rough and groggy.

"Hey. It's Edward."

"_Edward? What's wrong?"_

"It's Bella. She slipped. Not that she didn't have every right to, but I don't know how to handle this. Please, can you come over? She still passed out on the couch." Edward paced the bedroom while waiting for a response.

"_How did she slip, Edward? Please, don't tell me she shot up."_

"No. No. She drank a bottle of wine. There was another one unopened in the kitchen, but I think she must have passed out before she had a chance to get to it."

"_Good. I know falling off the wagon is nothing to be taken lightly, but I know Bella would never forgive herself if she went back to coke or heroin again."_

Edward gripped at his throat. He had known about the cocaine, but not the heroin. "I know, but something happened. She was at that convention this weekend. Some guy drugged her and raped her. He might have done worse if someone hadn't busted in on them."

"_Oh fuck, Edward. You know what... I'm getting my shoes on right now. I'll be there in twenty."_

"Thanks so much, Nicki. Bella is so lucky to have a sponsor like you."

"_Don't worry. We'll get her through this."_

As promised, twenty minutes later Nicki was at their door step. She had her long dark curls pulled back in a ponytail with just and old pair of jeans and a faded gray hoodie on.

Edward pulled her into the house and she took him in his arms.

"I can only imagine what was going through her head when she took that first drink." Nicki had relapsed herself more than once, but had stayed sober for the better part of nine years. She had sexual and physical abuse tied to her addictions, so she knew all too well that even the best of them fall sometimes.

Nicki pulled back from Edward and went to sit on the coffee table in front of a sleeping Bella. She ran her fingers lightly through her hair as Bella began to stir.

Bella's eyes slowly opened and began to focus on Nicki's face.

"Hello there, gorgeous. I think you might have a little explaining to do." Nicki picked up the empty wine bottle and handed it over to Bella.

Bella sat up slowly as she rolled the bottle between her hands. She looked to her right to see Edward standing with his arms securely crossed at his chest.

She turned her head back down to the bottle and sighed. "I couldn't stop. Everything was happening all at once. I just needed it all to stop. I needed to be numb if only for a little while."

"Why didn't you wake me? I could of... I don't know... I could've done something." Edward was now kneeling at her right side.

She placed the bottle down on the table next to Nicki and took her hand. "Thanks for coming."

"Edward told me a little about what happened. I know it's still fresh, but you need to talk about it, sweetie. You can't jeopardize everything you've built over the passed five years. Everything you're building with Edward over some prick. You're stronger than that and you god damned well know it." Nicki's tone had turned to one of stern authority. It almost reminded her of her father.

"I fucked up. I get it. Maybe I... maybe it's time to give Angela a call."

Edward looked to Bella then to Nicki. Nicki squeezed Bella's hand that Edward wasn't currently holding then turned to Edward.

"Angela was Bella's therapist for several years. It's been awhile since you've seen her?" She looked to Bella.

"Too long."

"Bella." Edward brought his lips to Bella's knuckles. "I don't know how were gonna do it, but with people like Nicki and Angela helping us, I know we're gonna make it through this. We can't lose each other again. I'm sure they'll find that bastard soon and we can move on. We have so much ahead of us, love."

"Yes, we do. First, I need a shower and some extra strength Tylenol."

**/&/**

Bella spent the entire afternoon in Dr. Angela Weber's office. She laid everything out. Her relationship with Edward. Their dual personalities. The rape. The drowning in red wine. Angela took everything in agreeing to help Bella in every way that she could. Just knowing help was virgining on the horizon, she began to feel the strength returning to her body.

Angela brought Edward in for the last part of their session to try to integrate him into their process.

Bella was adamant about not taking any sort of drugs to help her sleep therefore Angela took them through a series of relaxation techniques to go through when Bella was tense or anxious. She took them through different ways to calm Bella if she were to have panic attacks or wake from a nightmare. Just knowing that all of those things were available and she knew how to do them, made Bella feel a little more secure.

She needed that more than anything that night. It was December 23rd. The last chance she had to tell her brother and friends what had happened over the weekend and salvage their Christmas.

Bella and Edward arrived on Alice and Jasper's porch just after six o'clock. Alice ushered them in with hugs and kisses then drug Bella off to the kitchen.

Edward joined Jasper and Emmett in the living room while the girls finished dinner.

"So what did Bella say when you told her about your meeting with Kate?" Jasper asked as Edward sunk into the chair.

"Shit!" Edward let his head fall back against the chair. "I haven't even told her about it. So much has happened since she got back."

Emmett furrowed his eyebrows. "The convention didn't go well?"

Edward looked to the kitchen, wondering if the girls would be out soon. "I'm afraid she's got to be the one to tell you." Edward bent over, placing his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.

"This isn't good." Emmett stood as he glanced to see Bella standing in the kitchen. Her arms wrapped loosely around her torso with a slight smile on her lips. "I know that look. She's hiding something."

"She's going to tell you all tonight, just give her-"

Emmett cut Edward off. "Isabella Marie Swan! Get your ass in here right now!"

Bella came into the living room with both Rose and Alice on her heals. "What the hell, Em?"

"I know there is something wrong. I'm not gonna let you keep it from us for another second."

"God, Emmett! I've been here for a whole ten minutes," Bella shouted as she stormed over to him.

"I don't care! You promised, no more secrets. This is bad. I can feel it, Bells! Fucking tell me now!"

"You want to know! You want to know another secret so badly!"

"Bella, don't. Not like this." Edward pleaded with her. Even though Bella was finally showing some emotion, anger wasn't really what Edward was hoping for.

"No, Emmett has to know every detail of my fucking life. He should know that some bastard drugged me in the hotel bar and raped me in an elevator before taking me back to my room and doing it again." Emmett stepped back in shock and horror. "Yeah, there you have it. Then I got home and during the night I couldn't take the nightmares so I got shit-faced. Is that what you needed to hear, big brother? Your little sister fucked up her life once again. You can't save me this time. You can't force me to make it better."

"I never-"

Bella held her hand up and pushed Emmett's chest. "Save it. This has been a long time coming. You've always taken care of every problem I've ever had. Ever since James, you've made it your life's work to fix me. I can't take it any more. I've realized now I need to focus on me and not what everyone around me needs. Everything has become so blurred that I can hardly think. I can't have you breathing down my neck being my personal cheering section, when all you have really done is control each step I took. I can't let you be that for me any more. You are my brother and I will always love you, but you can not fix it this time."

Bella took a deep breath as she saw the tears run from her big brother's eyes. She turned to her right to see Alice and Rose clutching each other, silently sobbing. She looked to Jasper whose jaw was rock solid, his lips pressed in a firm line above his chin. Then she looked back to Edward who immediately opened his arms to her.

She took the few short steps and was wrapped up in the warmth of Edward's embrace. He rubbed his nose back and forth through her hair, kissing her forehead every once in a while. The rest of them stood silent as they let Bella calm down.

Emmett slowly approached Bella. Edward pulled back and turned Bella to face Emmett.

"I'm so sorry, Isabella. I'll do whatever you say, be here for you in whatever way you want me. I just... I didn't realize... Fuck!"

"Don't worry, Em." Bella placed her hand on his cheek and rubbed her thumb across his cheekbone. "I'll think of a way for you to make it up to me." Bella flashed him a weak grin.

"You're in for it now. Bella can dull out more punishment than I can." Rose came up and held onto Emmett's bicep.

The rest of the night passed with a little more detail into Bella's plans and how Angela and Nicki would be a big part of them. Then they focused on what the next two days would bring. Christmas Eve at the Cullen's, then the trek to Forks for Christmas Day with Charlie and all her friends from La Push

Bella had almost completely forgotten about her Christmas present for the five of them. She spent the rest of the night silently pondering if she should even give it to them. She finally resolved to go for it and go ahead with her plans.

**/&/**

A traditional Christmas Eve with the Cullen's was what Edward hoped Bella needed to lift her spirits at least a little. She had spent the day hashing out her relationship with Emmett. By the end of their conversation, they had come to a whole new understanding about how a brother is supposed to treat his sister.

Edward thought at least one relationship was on it's way to being mended. Bella had promised to try things together. She wasn't distant or angry, she was just there. Like she was just existing, moving forward just for the sake of moving forward. Edward knew it was way too soon to be expecting his Bella back, but he was seriously starting to worry if he'd ever see her again.

He had little hope that his Christmas present would make much of a difference since the new shoes from Alice or the necklace from Rose had not brought more than a slight smile.

"Here. It's not much and I didn't hardly spend any money on it, per your specifications." He handed over the green box with the silver bow with his signature grin.

Bella cautiously slipped the bow off before lifting the lid. Nestled in the tissue paper was a black photo frame with a black and white picture in the center.

"Edward... I don't know what to say." She picked up the frame from the box to bring the picture closer to her eyes. It was a copy of the last picture they took in the photo booth the day they got back together. Their lips and tongues thrust together in one perfect moment.

"I just wanted you to know this was the moment my life started again." Edward gently pulled her chin so she was looking at him. "It's because of you. All of it. I don't know where I'd be without you. I hope I can be that for you."

"Edward... you..." Bella lowered her chin as her eyes fell to her lap. She felt her heart swell, her eyes beginning to water.

"Love? Are you crying?"

"Happy tears." She looked up to Edward and cupped his cheek with her palm. "I love you, so much. It's so perfect." She brought his lips to hers, gently caressing his stubbled jaw with her thumb. "Now, you've got to open mine."

Bella pulled away and handed the photo frame to Edward so she could pull out her bag containing five boxes.

"Those aren't all for me?" Edward asked with a hopeful smile.

She stood up, pressing her lips to his. "No, one for each of you." Bella passed out the gifts to Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett. "I got these all together a couple of weeks ago and I don't want anyone to be upset. I really wanted to do this for all of us."

Alice was the first one to scream and rush over to Bella's lap. "OH MY GOD! Is this for real? Please, tell me this is real."

"Yes, Alice. It's real." Bella looked over to Edward for his reaction. "Well?"

"This is just too much, Bella. Are you sure?"

"I finally have the money to do something like this and I want to share it with all of you. It'll be perfect."

Rose turned to Emmett. "It'll be perfect. A week in Cancun. I can even try out that red bikini that I didn't get a chance to last summer."

"Bells, I'd love to, but I don't think I can get the time off. Plus, after everything do you think you're up to it." Emmett lifted his brow in concern.

"I already talked to your boss and got you the time off, so stop. Yes, I really do think this is the perfect time. After working non stop and all that's happened, I really need a break."

Edward turned to look at Bella. She was smiling, a God's honest, genuine smile. Her eyes were twinkling with unshed tears. He could finally see happiness in her again. He would do everything to make sure their trip was everything she intended it to be.

"Alright, then a week with Rose in a bikini and plenty of Tequila sounds like heaven to me."

"It'll be perfect." Bella turned once again and brought Edward to her lips. "Absolutely, perfect."

**/&/**

Christmas Day began more perfectly than Bella could ever expect. Breaking the news to her dad was hard, but after a long session of shooting targets in the back woods with Emmett, Charlie was feeling much better.

As Bella had just pulled the turkey out of the oven, she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist.

She tensed up and brought her elbow back into the offenders gut.

"Fuck, Bells. Why'd you do that?"

"Oh God, Seth. I'm sorry. You scared me." She turned to see her old friend with his loving brown eyes and dark skin.

"I guess I could have warned you. My bad."

Bella took a deep breath as she took in Seth's appearance. There was so much of Jake there, but she knew she was safe. She wrapped herself up in Seth's arms and immediately felt complete with her old friend there.

"I'm glad you came."

"Well, I kinda had to. You know my mom is practically living here these days. I wouldn't be surprised if they start planning a summer wedding. You think you could handle another big brother?"

"I think I could manage." Bella smiled at the thought of how happy Charlie had been since he and Sue had been together. Adding one of her best friends to the family would be just perfect.

"So, I see you hooked up with Cullen again. Very nice."

Bella pulled back and busied herself with the mashed potatoes. "You stop. Be nice to him. I think were in it for the long haul this time."

"I'm happy for you. You deserve it, sis."

"Enough with the sister stuff." She threw a dish towel at him. "Go socialize."

"Okay, but come out soon. Mom's got a ton of pictures from when we were building my uncle's new house. She wants to show you the ones where your dad had his shirt off."

"Yuck," Bella thought. "Wait. I thought your uncle lived in Oklahoma?"

"He used to, but his wife died a few years back and he's still in a wheelchair, so he decided to move up here to be closer to us. His kids are all grown, so he gets kinda lonely. He'll be here tonight. You'll really like him."

"If he's anything as precious as you, I'm sure I'll love him."

"Bella." Seth looked at her with fake shyness.

"Now get out of my kitchen."

**/&/**

Dinner went just as planned. Wonderful food, fun with family, and cherished memories with friends. Bella was feeling like she was on a path to becoming a better Bella.

She loved how Edward and Alice fit right back in like they had so many years ago. Rose and Jasper were welcomed with open arms. Everything was perfect.

Bella sat down on the couch with Sue to see the infamous pictures of her father's studly torso.

"This is when they were getting ready to shingle the roof. Your dad was already sweating bullets. I told him jokingly to just take the shirt off. I had to take a picture when he actually did. You know how modest he is." Sue laughed as they continued flipping through the pictures.

"So, what do you think of the house, Miss Bella?" Uncle Billy asked.

"It looks great. I'm sure dad made sure everything was up to code. Plus I think Sue likes having you around."

"Yep, I think I should have done this years ago. Who would of every thought my sister would know what was best for me." Billy laughed at the thought. "You and that man of yours will have to come up for the fish fry this summer. We use Harry's recipe. It'll be like he's right there with us." Billy patted Sue's hand at the thought of her late husband.

"I'd love to."

"Oh, Sue. Here. Show her these." Billy pulled a few pictures out to show to Bella.

"This is my daughter Rachel and her husband, Pete. She had just found out she was pregnant when they took this picture. Still can't believe I'm gonna be a grandpa."

"But, you're so young." Bella smiled at Billy.

"Charlie, I really love this girl of yours," Billy called. Charlie just laughed and blew Bella a kiss before turning his attention back to the game.

"Oh, this is my son. I'm so proud of him. He's a literary agent in California. Who would have thought him getting his knee messed up in high school would have him concentrating on the books."

Bella threw the picture down instantly and ran into the kitchen. She barely made it to the sink before emptying her stomach into it.

Edward rushed in behind her along with Alice and Rose.

"Love, are you alright?" Edward rubbed his hand up and down her back as Bella continued to heave. "What can I do?"

When Bella finished, she turned on the water and watched her puke go down the drain. Traitorous tears fell from her cheeks as the water swirled in the sink.

"The picture. The one of Billy's son." Bella turned and took Edward's hands in hers. "It was him. It was Jake."


End file.
